Let me be the key to your fantasy,
Let's explore each others ecstasy,
As we endeavour on this new exploration,
Let me pleasure your orgasmic sensation,
Let's enjoy this moment from beginning to end,
As you watch the sillouette of my back bend,
Let me give you pure satisfaction,
As your taken by my asian attraction,
Let's make this into a memorable night,
Taking climax to a whole new height.

Poetic Resume

Inside I have built up emotion
the fury crashes like the ocean
sometimes i wanna runaway
just to see the brighter day
i am overwhelmed with it all
then i hear my ink pen call
as i write about the commotion
my flow calms the crashing ocean
a poetic resume of my soul
helps me to take on lifes toll

to my pisces friend...kindred spirits we ARE...

I can't contain the stimulization from the colorization the noise of loud conversation,
I dislike certain fibers that rub against my skin, my patience quickly wears thin,
I do not know what it does to me, so I cry out conststantly, I am taught to speak emotionally,
I have an IQ higher than the rest, because I am blessed, my social interraction is my biggest test,
I am a boy in a world that does not understand, as my mother takes my hand, counsels me so that I can stand,
I can tie my shoes, get dressed like the rest, its just hard to get my feelings off my chest,
I am very analytical, mathmatical, matter of factual,
The other children think I am weird, everything makes me scared, some days its hard to get my thoughts cleared,
People have this conception that my goal is deception when its only their own perception,
Its been clinically found that I will have my ups and downs even when mommy is not around.
Please understand I am a child with Aspergers.

To My Inspiration..Tunk the smart one....

My Constant

I love the way you walk,
the way you talk,
that sexy smile,
that says let's wait awhile.
The shimmer in your eyes,
it comes as no surprise,
you take me away to paradise.
You are my constant...
That perfect phase,
You continue to amaze,
Take me to that place,
To continue my days,
Your strong your couragious,
So very contagious,
This love is outrageous,
You are my constant...
You shelter me from the rain,
Counsel me in my pain,
Bring me back to feel sane,
But never do you complain,
You lift me up higher,
Like the highest note in a choir,
I have to admire,
You are my constant...
In life I have taken a ride,
Been alone until I let you inside,
Continually you are my guide,
Always on my side,
I am left all in a bliss,
Taking away the painful abyss,
As I am again lost in your kiss.
You are my constant...

To my constant my heart the one that has stood by my side only lifting me higher....

Reinstated

Hesitations, complications, losing patience to your fabrications,
A world of allegations, quick sensations, racist nations, and temptations,
Wretched lies, no surprise, you close your eyes to this demise, no cries, no goodbyes, it is your own pain you disguise,
Morals lost as you exhaust at any cost every path that you have crossed, all sympathy I have tossed,
Apology not accepted you are rejected to what you projected as you have erected yet another hard,
Masturbate with your brain as you drain yet another vein trying to explain your reign of irreversible pain,
Borrow time again you will no win but yet you named me kin I will not let you in,
Conclusions from your illusions, placed delusions, causing emotional transfusions, and uninvited intrusions,
Emancipated I am deflated as you baited twisted and overrated you will never be reinstated.

By: Carla

12/12/2007

Today I see the light that shines so bright, the history that guides me to this night, the fury the hate that has caused the fight, the scorn the mockery in which you delight,
I come to a place where peace resides, to settle the tides, all misery subsides, as I hold on to another one of lifes rides,
I know that there will be better days, this is just a test a simple phase, as I have found a way out of this maze, letting loose of this spinning daze,
Simply put I had to let go, let all emotional warfare flow, taking each blow, it will be all worth it in the end I know,
I know I am not alone in this place, its the victory to overcome that I taste, as I take stride in this race, with each battle that I face, as its now joy that I will chase.

Trying

I TRY NOT TO MAKE THINGS WORSE BETWEEN US AS I ALREADY KNOW THE DAMAGE I HAVE PLACED,THE IMPACT I HAVE CAUSED THE MEMORYS YOU WANT SO BAD TO BE ERASED,THE SILENCE THAT HAS TO BE FACED,I HAVE TO BE CANCELLED I UNDERSTAND, THIS IS NOT WHAT I HAVE PLANNED,I JUST NEED STRENGTH RIGHT NOW TO STAND,IF I COULD CHANGE IT ALL I REALLY WOULD, FEELING I FEEL STILL MISUNDERSTOOD, I MEANT NO HARM ONLY GOOD,I WISH THAT I COULD JUST TAKE IT ALL BACK, FIGURE OUT WHERE I GOT OFF TRACK, CHANGE IT ALL AND THIS TIME WITHOUT SLACK,LOVE IS REALLY A RAZOR THAT CUTS LIKE A KNIFE, I FEEL IT MORE EACH DAY AS I CONTINUE THROUGH LIFE,PLEASE GOD HELP ME GET THROUGH THE STRIFE,
9/28/07

As much as I would love to say that everything is alright,
I cannot say it because I think about it everyday and everynight,
Somewhere somehow in this world I have lost sight,
Still reaching, in this battle I continue to fight,
All things happen for a reason they have told me,
But why do these reasons bring pain and misery,
To my heart you will forever hold the key,
Because I still will love you for eternity,
This be the reason I can only wish you the best,
Continue to pray that you will be blessed,
I will always beleive in the love we confessed,
But for now my words my heart i will put to rest...

9/24/2007

Blown

BLOWN TO AN INDECRIBABLE STATE, A FRIENDSHIP TURNED TO HATE, AS YOU DISPISE MY FATE, AND HURT MY OWN CHILDREN AT ANY RATE,FUNNY HOW WHEN YOU NEEDED ME I WAS ALWAYS THERE, NOTHING I HAD I COULD NOT SHARE, BECAUSE I REALLY DID CARE, BUT MY CHILDREN EVEN YOU COULD NOT SPARE,BLOWN BY THE ENY THAT CAUSED YOU TO DISPISE, THIS TIME I CANNOT COMPROMISE,THIS DRAMA YOU CAUSE IS LARGE IN SIZE, YOU HAVE CAUSED MY HATRED TO RISE,BLOWN BY THE THOUGHT OF WHAT WAS SAID, NOW IN MY HEART YOU ARE DEAD, THE TAPE YOU PLACED IS SO RED, THIS TEAR WAS THE LAST I WILL SHED,I EVEN TOOK YOU IN, WHEN YOU FELT LIKE YOU COULD NOT WIN,AND I WOULD HAVE DONE IT AGAIN, BUT NOW ITS ALL WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN,BLOWN BY THE FACT I THOUGHT I KNEW YOU, THOUGHT THAT YOU CARRIED SOME TYPE OF VIRTUE, NOW WHAT TO DO, TAKE THINGS DAY BY DAY AND CONTINUE,I WAS TOLD ONCE YOU WERE TWO FACED, I THOUGHT YOU WERE MISPLACED, NOW YOUR ACTIONS ARE DISGRACED, AND YOUR FRIENDSHIP HAS BEEN ERASED,I HAVE HAD ALOT OF HURT IN MY LIFE, I DONT WORRY UNTILL IT CAUSES MY CHILDREN STRIFE, THE GAMES YOU PLAY HAVE CUT LIKE A KNIFE, ALL BECAUSE YOU WONDERED ONE DAY WOULD I BECOME HIS WIFE,BLOWN BY THE FACT YOU COULD NOT COME TO ME, INSTEAD YOU PLAYED FOUL AND GREEDY, WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LET ME BE, AND YOU KNOW IN MY HEART HE HOLDS THE KEY,FUNNY HOW LIFE TAKES ITS TURN, WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN, I NEED TO STOP AND NOT TAKE CONCERN,AND LET THIS FRIENDSHIP BURN,I WOULD HAVE LISTENED IF YOU WOULD HAVE SPOKE, BUT INSTEAD YOU'VE GONE FOR BROKE, AS YOU PRY AND YOU POKE, BLOWN BY THE LENGTHS THAT YOU HAVE GONE, THE THOUGHTLESS ACTIONS YOU HAVE SPAWN, THE SWORDS YOU HAVE DRAWN, DONT WORRY THOUGH I SHALL CARRY ON,YOU COULD NOT HAVE THOUGHT, BEFOR YOU BEGAN TO PLOT, I WONDER IF YOU RECEIVED THE GRATITUDE YOU SOUGHT, AS YOUR SOUL WAS BOUGHT,BLOWN BY THE FACT YOU REALLY DON'T CARE, YOUR WORRIES ARE NEITHER HERE NO THERE, YOUR GAMES JUST PLANTED ANYWHERE, FOR THIS ONE TIME NOTHING CAN COMPARE,I CANT REMEMBER EVER BEING BETRAYED LIKE THIS, BEING TRAPPED IN A BULLSHIT BLISS, YOUR CHILDREN I WILL TRUELY MISS, NOW ALL I CAN DO IS REMINICE."THIS BE THE DAY I WAS TAUGHT A TRUE LESSON. NEVER WILL I AGAIN BE PUT IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS...I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ALL WAS SAID...BUT I CAN SAY YOU DID NOT FULLY THINK ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOURSELF...SOMETIMES IN LIFE YOU HAVE TO THINK THAT IT COULD NOT ONLY HURT ONE BUT EVERYONE THAT IS A PART OF THAT PERSONS LIFE" 9/14/2007

9/11/2007

Taking blame for actions for all satisfactions something like the fall guy but again I continue and I try. Losing sleep as I continue to weep over circumstances that continue to seep. I have no control as it continues to bleed my soul and my kids follow through yet another toll.I have so many lessons learned for all the love that I have yearned only to be let down as they begin to clown my world still left upside down.So through out life I learn to be strong because forever for me does not last long, can you hear my song.I realize now that none were meant for me, and my love you can only see the beauty, love me with all my iniquity.I do not have it in me to be mean or have revenge for those who infringe as I continue on this binge.I have thoughts of aggression that steal this obsession this is the truest confesion.So I write these poems to release all pleasure and pain within me my ink begins to drain but still yet keeps me sane when outpours the rain.Life changes people move on I am still yet a pawn as I continue on.My boys I look into there eyes as my heart crys yet within this smile I carry my disguise.They ask me why I cannot deny makes me want to cry I smile but within I feel like I am going to die.

Can I Come In?

It’s the talk you talk, the line you walk, the way you move your tone so smooth, that silenced swagger, sharp like a dagger….Can I come in…
It’s the way you speak so unique, the subtle grin, I yearn from within, keeps me all in a daze, my eyes in a glaze. Can I come in…
it’s the strength you carry, nothing scary, the courage you know, that keeps that flow, fine like wine, just give me a sign. Can I come in…
It’s your hard candy mind, yet so sexy and fine, you light up the night, with words of insight, as I continue to desire your love on fire. Can I come in…
You are so unique, with the words you speak, as the storm clears, your pain disappears, as love transcends, your journey begins. Can I come in…
As you taste the bread of words said, trying to trust what used to be lust, motivated by positive energy, to set you free. Can I come in…
it’s the way you choose not to loose, my reaction to your satisfaction, the freaky side that I want to ride, the rhythm within your soul, that places achievement upon your goal. Can I come in…
the strength to survive, knowledge to stay alive, your kindred ways, your hard worked days, without complaining, as its raining. Can I come in…
it’s the way you shield me from my pain, the way you maintain, that powerful feeling, like sexual healing, yet that’s an untold story, waiting for orgasmic glory. Can I come in…
9/9/2007

An Oldie...

Its been a long time coming but now your gone,
You keep askin me why i'm moving on,
Well i left long befor you ever knew,
Another love lost because of you,
You keep saying I'm gonna want you back,
But honestly its knowledge that you lack,
It doesn't have to end this way you keep sayin,
And it will never be no matter how much you keep prayin,
See what you don't know you lost me long ago,
For my kids I stuck in their and tried not to let go,
But if you would have just opened your eyes, our love died,
With all the the pain inside and all the tears I cried,
Small thing I said did not mean much,
But then you questioned why i could not stand your touch,
All those times you hurt me built up and now its come to an end,
And you are still wondering why I can't be your friend.
You do not have a clue of what you took from me,
Nine years of my life but you still do not see,
Now you decide to apologize in a letter,
Nothing you say can make this better,
Now its too late and your singin on my phone about you and me,
No I wont and don accept your apology,
I cant recall those good times you talk of,
I guess i never will really feel love,
You say I am your back bone,
If so why was i left to feel alone,
You tell me I should do this for our family,
Again you don't feel me,
You fear my happiness without you,
Maybe your fear will come true,
I have peace with you no longer here,
Sorry I have no more of me to spare,
You just keep on beggin over and over again,
Still questioning why I won't let you in,
But you took all of me and threw it away,
Never realizing what I gave until that last day,
Now I just look for amazement somewhere someway,
I dont want the lies that fill your lips,
No more you no more trips,
I struggled to survive and this is my prize,
As I erase the tears from my babies eyes,
Now its you I am trying to erase,
Searching for that peaceful place.
So next time you here that song you say is for me,
Remember you pushed me away fromt that destiny.

The way i see it....
I can't be contained, while left untamed, unpredictable as the rain, but no ones to blame, sometimes it's all just too hard to explain.
Don't ask me a question if you don't expect the truth,Yes I was once too often overwhelmed ignorance and consumed by my youth,and the pain i felt was next to child losing their first tooth.
But I have grown and it is knowledge I stand by, experiences that I cannot deny, People out there acting like superfly,and history continues to scar as time passes by,
The way I see it....
Take for instance today, tell what you have done so great, who knows if tommorow is in your fate, not time to instigate or debate, this is so real, can you relate.
Don't waste your time with fake people who don't really care, choose life wisely pick the one's who will always be there, Lord knows Life is not always fair,And dreams and visions are not always clear, unpredictable situations need someone who will be there.
The way I see it.....
I won't tellyou to be a certain way, walk a certain way, do as i say, so that you can't blame me if you fall or you sway, because i can't promise you the next day.Or even promise everything will be okay.
No ones saying I am above the rest, just lifting some things off my chest, i don't love you any less, just letting you know i did what i could at my best.
The way i see it....
Backstabbers they are two faced and can go to hell, you i say, cant know me that well, you deserve a lonely cell, now go again run and tell,
Destroy me,know it cant be done, I am on my way up this race as number one, you want it but I am having to much fun, as i have already explained I am the real one,
Be who you are don't surprise me, i know you despise me,it all seems so funny, don't compromise for me.
The way i see it....
Don't apologize now that I have put out there for the world to hear, cause trust me its just a moment that people stop and stare, and tommorow they won't be there, i just want to make everything clear.
To sum it all up I am not pointing the finger towards anyone, you all know who you are as i come up like the rising sun, go ahead continue to have your fun, but dont say a word when i say I am done.

Lonesome Secret Lullaby
In the beginning my heart was begging me to let you in,
My mind contemplating and telling me I could not win,
Your smile still lingers in the air, and your words continue to touch,
I did not realize that everything we shared then would mean so much.
Like a lonesome soldiers cry, this begins my lonesome secret lullaby,
Time continues as we smile and go on, but to you I will forever be drawn,
Though possibly this could have be the biggest mistake of my life,
My destiny is to forever wonder as I carry on as another's wife,
The curiosity was there I cannot deny, Now all I have left is this lonesome secret lullaby,
A part of you though will always be placed in my heart,
And my love continues forever whether together or apart,
Its possible I will go to my death bed knowing it was I,
As I keep inside this lonesome secret lullaby.

Your soul seeks me as we endeavor on this new day.
I represent you as you struggle and begin to sway.
When you are sad ,untuned, and hurt I pray.
You will never be alone as you journey to find this new way.
No entity,zip,zilch,zero could calculate the steps I will go for you.
Nor could they imagine, concieve, visualize, the things I would do.
You are my beloved, my dearest, my loved one, my honey and without you I am through.
So when you are tired, exhausted, and cannot go anymore,
Let me hold you, carry you through and help your wings to soar.

The TRUELY Unhappy Man

Collateral resources have become the conclusion to all this confusion that causes this temporary kind of delusion as he ponders upon another illusion.
As he tries to eliminate the seed of hate, yet he still carries the infidelity he loves to hate, as his soul is deeply embedded with this trait, an unwelcome passion that cancels his true love’s fate,
Driven by physical attraction, that causes more dissatisfaction, love lost once again is the only reaction, not joy to gain but only subtraction,
Lengthened mistakes that continually raise the stakes, his life’s full of so many different heartbreaks, but yet chosen by the decisions he makes,
Can he ever see the light, choose to do what is right, will this forever be his internal fight, as he contemplates tomorrow each and every night,
Blinded by fallacies that seem so real, just a quick fix one quick feel, ravenous like a lion eating his last meal, breaking a vow that once had a seal,
An adrenaline rush that carries him away, as he shames the devil each day, and takes the bait and is driven to play, as all morals are thrown away,
He is reflection of a child with a new toy, who throws it to the side for a new moment of joy, he is built like a man but has a mind of a boy, with only himself to annoy,
Lies incriminate his social outbreak, as he describes a reality that is so fake, make no mistake, he has no rules on how far to take,
His luck has ran thin, as he continually fights from within, he cannot tell how many places he’s been, if she was a lover or friend,
On the road to destroy another without fear, get what he wants, no guilt is near, never being sincere telling only what she wants to hear,
It’s just one big game, rightfully earned his shallow name, countless heartaches to add to his collection of fame, a gallery full with no one else to blame,
Well all I can say is keep walking the line, as the path for destruction fills his mind, he is like a filthy swine, and has audacity to think everything’s fine, one day karma will bite him from behind.