Don't Fault Me

Don't fault me for questioning how it could really be,
Wondering inside if you are the one to make me happy,
I know deep inside our meeting had a meaning from above,
As you console me and and constantly show me so much love,
Don't fault me for thinking about you everyday and night,
A bond that will be forever, but first a friendship so tight,
I seek your approval but you don't even know,
Without you I do not know where I would go.
Don't fault me for wondering how you truely feel,
Will this someday be, and is this really real.
Small things you do continue to entice my desire,
Sweet things you say add fuel to this curious fire,
Don't fault me for loving your personality first,
If I only looked at the exterior things would be worse,
Pictures they tend to fade in and out of my brain,
As you place in me so much joy that used to be pain,
I try not to say all of the words that are really there,
Kinda silly but rejection I guess plays on my fear,
Don't fault me for thinking of scenes of me and you,
As they continually play, wondering could they be true.
Fate is an obstacle when you don't know where to start,
But a friend first can always steal a woman's heart.
Don't fault me for laughing at cute things you say,
Wondering what you are up to when your away,
Dont fault me for questioning could this really be,
But yet never closing my mind for endless possibility.

Intentions

Stop and think for just a minute, were your intentions really good or did your selfish ways blind you from the truth?
You must remember that now you are dealing with a real woman, not just a silly little youth.
As time is passing are your intentions to keep me from becoming a part of anothers heart?
Do you remember exactly what your intentions for you and me were from the very start?
When I smile are your intentions to make my happiness last a lifetime or just for a moment?
Or are your intentions to give me love, or just to love and leave me in torment?
Intentions can become mistrued by actions that could have been avoided in the first place.
Intentions come with many reactions, that we all at one time or another must face.
There are so many intentions some may be good and some may be bad.
I would like to beleive that the intentions that you have for me are not to make me sad.
So with that thought that I place within your heart I hope that you are really my protection.
That you may value love think with your mind, and not only with the head of your erection.
Please I ask you to ensure me that your intentions are pure, and not just a day by day possibility.
So that I in turn can fulfil your needs for love, and not to leave you to be alone to the best of my ability.

The Beginning

It all began so diferent from the rest,
I knew my inner soul was being put to the test,
But the company was nice and the mood was set,
A memory made that I will never forget,
Not to mention the confidence that was shown,
The sweet conversations over the phone,
Not to mention the crisp air and late night talks,
The candy coated words and the impressive walks,
It all was overwhelming but so very sweet,
So very impressive the mission of defeat,
All the no's became yes, and the nevers turned to lies,
Who ever knew yet another mission man in disguise,
Yet so easily my heart was all in a whirl,
Butterflies in my stomach like a little girl,
Days past like minutes, a year went so fast,
Then out came a reaping from the past,
Suddenly things changed like the weather,
But still lies hope that kept all together,
Each day I pray I can make it for tommorow,
Yearning for a life of joy without sorrow,
In a place that is not familiar to me at all,
Holding on this rope tight trying not to fall,
A heart that is in this one hundred percent,
Is this one the one it felt almost heavensent,
Time can only tell what lies below,
Take a ticket now enjoy the show.

Friendship

Just a simple smile to make your day,
A quick text message when your away,
A quick hello to let you know I care,
A warm hug when you need me near,
Thats what friends are supposed to do,
Thats the reason I am glad to have you,
So next time you are havin a very bad day,
Just you know I care even if I am miles away,
Take time to enjoy what it is we share,
Don't ever forget how much I care,
People may come and they may go,
Real friends care when your feelin low,
Take time out to learn what the needs are,
No matter if they live close or far.

Secret Betrayal

By nature you don't realize it ,but it put's me through hell.
Similiar to a hermit crab moving from shell to shell.
Somehow someway ,this life seems to be so offtrack.
As you hold me at night, but secretly stab me in the back.
I don't want this to end,but i don't want death as my fate.
But yet I am feeling slowly, this tainted love will turn to hate.
Am I just a lonely pawn, in this big ole game.
But will I survive, as you secretly destroy my name?
Lies fall like raindrops on a cold rainy night.
Your plot unthinkable, and only a devils delight.
How can one contain so much, from the twisted tongue?
Sugar coated like M&M's, eaten fast when you were young.
A modern day vigilante without cause or reason.
You continue your mission each day, no matter what the season.
Go on, you know they laugh as I pass by!
A selfish position, you're unable to deny.
But you can't sympothize, because its capitolization on passion and pleasure.
But if you would open your eyes, you would see I am your treasure.
For too long, I've been looking to be high on love.
Just a fairytale dream I keep, as I pray to the man above.
Fate, happiness, and destiny, words seem so far away.
Don't keep taking for granted, what could be gone one day!

Consideration

Consideration a word that everyone needs to have in their daily walk in life,
A word so commonly forgotten in this world built up on strife,
Can you say you considered me when you seduce another,
Am I considered when people know even your sister, brother and mother,
Consideration was it given to me when you in engaged in this relationship,
Is their considerations for my feelings when you don't want me to trip,
Consideration is the word for the day as I try to figure it all out,
But with this consideration I am given, why doe's it produce so much doubt,
Was consideration given when you met these five lives but yet continue your dirt,
Is their consideration without guilt when you know I am deeply hurt,
Meditate on this word and see is it really a word that is with in you,
Maybe if your consideration was really there, I could see you through,
So should I be as considerate as you and play by your very own rule,
Take what is out there and take you also to be another fool,
So consider it done if thats really what your wanting me to do,
If that's really what you want, your consideration is what I will pursue,
Consideration yet just a word it can turn a good day cold and sad,
But yet in life we tend to forget to be considerate and that's when it gets so bad,
Consideration...........Considerarion...............Consideration...................
Consideration for feelings that may be hurt during the game,
Consideration for peoples feelings while calling anothers name,
Come on now if love is blind so is the consideration for me,
Because these walls are falling fast as you continue so kindly,
Consideration is it there when I am there and you try to hide it,
Trying to hold peace so that i won't pitch another fit,
Consideration is it there when I am put to the side for a minute,
Do you consider my feelings while you are all up in it,
I am considerate to you but with what payment to i receive,
Are you considerate in your lies as you continually deceive.
Concentrate on consideration maybe life can be more than a dream,
Quit making up lies and playing roles that are not really as they seem.

Friends......

I want to bring sunlight to your despare,
A friendship, a bond for you and I to share,
Maybe I can't take away the pain,
But lend a helping hand to clear the rain,
Show you rainbow that you thought you would never see
Show you how much of a friend I can really be.
Pick you up when you feel you can't walk tall,
Catch you whenever you begin to fall,
Let me show you my world through my eyes,
Holding back nothing leaving nothing in disquise,
Let me be there when no one else can,
A friend for life can you understand,
All the pain just let it go and start brand new,
I can be that friend that can be there for you,
Got a secret, well tell me it will be ours only,
Never worry about being alone and lonely,
Remember you have a friend here if u need me,
To be there till the end for my lifes eternity.

The Lost Society

The lost society that has been forgotten and pushed to the side,
For some in this society it has been a very sad and hectic ride,
Culture lost admist all the legalities and documentation,
Life signed away for the taking without hesitation,
A language that is so new,but should have been the first,
Its bad when your own are thinking that you are the worst,
But a choice was made for your future without your voice heard,
A kind gesture for a destiny of a human that became so absurd,
Kids laughting taunting and teasing because you are not them,
But yet still drowning in a culture without knowledge of how to swim.
Brought into a natural unkind world full of confusion and hate.
A life decision without concern of the fullness of one's fate.

Locked Up

I was born locked up and still haven't served all of my time,
I am still paying the price but, i dont know for what crime,
Time passes on and people say that things will get better,
But still I feel empty and alone as I am writing this letter,
I often wonder as I reminis on the past, how did I go astray,
What happened to all the happiness in my world,my life,my day,
Bars of steel, but just a vision I placed on a life so very cold,
I sit here I listen, I see,I hear and yet try to do as I am told,
Bitterness from repeated offenses I have not committed,
Close my eyes, dreaming of the day that I will be aquitted,
Walkin through the shadows trying to reach the daylight,
Threatened by insanity that could take me one day, one night,
Constantly I try to progress to the better way of life,
But yet still I am held down by all the controversy and strife,
How many days,weeks, years must I take without pleasure,
When will I find it the diamonds, gold, and the treasure,
I have seen so much that another would have fear,
No one could walk in these shoes without shedding a tear,
Just barely makin it day by day as lifes time ticks on,
Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock, what will happen when I am gone,
Locked up in a trance and without possibility,
Doing my time but thinking about it constantly,
Its unexpainable why I have all this time to serve,
I must tell you though someones really got some nerve,
Thirty one years of being locked up and set to the side,
Contemplations set in my head with visions of suicide.

I look at you and there are miles between where we are and where I want to be,
The glass breaks and fires are started because of the turmoil I have internally,
Processing thoughts and trying hard not to face reality of this crucial moment,
Fighting an internal war daily but yet still trying not to show my discontent,
Can this be the chapter that takes me over the edge that only hell can understand?
With lingering curses and chaos to take over without my very own reprimand,
In passing things seem so very causual, cool, calm, and collect, but is it all worth it?
Take me away I keep saying, to that better life the one that I always pick to forfeit.

Untitled

If I had a box and filled it with my every emotion,
Would you take the time to understand me with deepest devotion?
Could I captivate your mind and show you through my eyes?
Each endeavor of my life nothing in disguise.
Intrigue you with all the thoughts that go through my head,
Would you allow me to innovate on your thoughts of me naked?
Can I take you to a place you have never been befor?
Could you fix the places where my heart has been tore.
Without deception or lies to leave you confused,
Only my perpective of life to leave you amused.
No questions of doubt to hinder what I have to give,
Only true facts of a real woman and the way she must live.
Will you give me credit, where credit should be placed?
Wipe away all bad memory's that need to be erased.

Let Me

I am that woman that has so much to give,
But without oppurtunity is the way I live.
Sometimes a smile hides what I know,
But deep down inside I feel so low.
I want someone that can be trusted,
Be by my side but never disgusted.
Please let me cook you breakfeast in bed,
Caress you from your toes to your head.
Let me be the only love of your life,
Not only your woman but also your wife.
When your down let me bring you up again,
Never worry I don't like people cheatin.
Let me love you the way no woman has before,
Be the one you can cherish and adore.
I will treat you like the king you are,
If I leave for a moment I won't go too far.
Never will you have to lose trust in me,
I will be here for you so very faithfully,
Could I be that woman that you dream of,
And show you all my unconditional love?
Whispering my sweet nothings in your ear,
Making all my love for you so very clear.
Running your bath water after your day end,
Not just your seductive lover but also your friend.
Can I be the only picture inside of your head,
Just like all the fairytales that you have read.
Let me make you feel loved tonight and forever,
Don't hold back love and never say never.
I want to be next to you closer each day,
All other girls left behind and pushed away.
Can our heartbeats join and coincide,
Never letting anyone break our stride?
Open what you have closed and pushed aside,
Tell me all the secrets you have held inside.
Manicures and pedicures its all the same,
I will be here for you when you call my name.
I want to show you how love is suppose to be,
Massage and hold you ever so closely.
Let me be your diamond that shines so bright,
A real love so pure and a bond so tight.

Untitled

Looking back at my life in it's entirety,
Don't know why it seems you forget me,
Can't understand why things go this way,
But yet still I hold on and I still pray,
I am a shadow in this big ol' world,
Constantly turnin' and being twirled,
Can't you see I am leanin' on you,
Need some peace to help me through,
Carry me now because I can't stand,
When I cry please hold my hand,
Diamonds they glisten, but coal still black,
Let me shine and give me what I lack,
I know that I am not the best,
Give me hope so I may rest,
Let today be the day that this ends,
Place your angels around as my friends,
Hold me now I really need your blessin',
They don't know with whom they are messin'.

Seduction

Like a preying mantis about to take control,
Let me feel the goodness you have to give,
But please don't rush, take it real slow,
Slowly let me raise you to a place unseen,
Kiss you ever so softly with my lips,
Have never to forget, if you know what I mean,
Moonlight with candles lit and the fire burnin,
Slowly dancing like the flame,
As the rythym of seduction keeps turnin',
A pleasant fragrance that you will never forget,
Sweet whispers that tickle your ears,
It is enough to make the Arizona desert wet,
No complications to arise for this is the perfection,
Been fantasizing for too long,
Since we first made this connection,
Now take me in your arms as we twist and turn,
What you dont know i will teach you,
What I don't know I am willing to learn,
Moist lips kissing all over very intense,
Movin my hips left to right,
Enough to make you lose all sense,
Just when you feel that you have reached it,
I will go even slower,
For this night you will never forget,
Slow it down and then bring it back to you,
Our bodies conjoined like no other,
Unstoppable passion made before we are through,
Lit by candlelight feel the softness of my skin,
That tinglely feeling will go away,
But I can't promise you it won't happen again,
When this seduction is over and orgasm is done,
Both fully satisfied together,
Lets hold one another untill the dark meets the sun.

Mesmerize

Mesmerize me with your tongue full of lies,
I know the secrets you try to disquise,
The lines that you tell are all played out,
I don't say it, but inside I want to shout,
Continue this day o man of deceipt,
To hell you will go you big o cheat,
Mesmerize me with all your ways,
Devious plans are all but a maze,
I felt your lies befor they were said,
But yet u deny and say its all in my head,
When your trust is denied you question it,
Then comes anger, and rage, all up in a fit,
Mesmerize me with your touch,
Why doesn't it mean as much,
Are u capable of continuing to destroy,
Treat people as if they are bought like a toy,
Too late for the future aplogies to be told,
This same story, isn't it getting old,
How can you sleep at night in peace?
While you mesmorize and produce so many enemies.

By: Carla E.Williams

Love???

LOVE IS A FLOWER THAT BLOOMS AT SUNRISE,
YEAH YEAH YEAH RIGHT....
FUCK IT.....
LOVE SUCKS BECAUSE IT BECOMES ALL TWISTED AND DISTRAUGHT,
BENT OUT OF SHAPE AND LEAVES YOU TO ROT,
LEAVES U ALONE AND WASTED IN TIME,
CAN U BELIEVE I AM CREATIN THIS RHYME,
DARKNESS FALLS WHEN LOVE ENDS,
OH YEAH, FUCK BEIN JUST FRIENDS,
YOU CANNOT CONTAIN ME BECAUSE IM FREE,
ALL OUT OF CONTROL CANT YOU SEE,
IT WAS GREAT WHEN IT FIRST BEGAN,
GOT TOO CLOSE THAN I RAN,
HAHAHA
I RUN TO U, NOT,
IM DISTRAUGHT,
SICK IN DA HEAD THATS THE CONCLUSION,
LIFES HAPPINESS JUST A DILLUSION,
THIS IS NOT A GAME THAT I PLAY,
ITS THE LIFE I LIVE DAY BY DAY,
LIARS,CHEATERS,PLAYAS AND FAKES,
ITS LOVE THAT CAUSES THE MISTAKES,
MY HEART IS CROSSED WITH NO DESIRE,
DONT NEED THAT BURNIN FIRE,
HEY YOU KNOW THAT LINE U TOLD,
YOU REALLY THOUGHT IT WAS GOLD,
WELL SHOVE THAT UP UR ASS,
BECOME A PART OF MY PAST,
KEEP ON THINKIN THE WAY U THINK,
WATCH UR LIFE BEGIN TO SINK,
REAP WHAT U SOW, DO DAT 4 REAL,
ONE DAY U WILL FEEL DA WAY I FEEL...

BY:cARLa e.WiLLIAmS
by the way this was just for fun but there is some truth to it so i don't know take it how u like....

Untititled

Have you ever felt like theres no true happiness,
Like your life is turning into one big mess,
No way to fix it just sit back watch and learn,
Not anyones problem or anyones concern,
Cancel me I am out of ideas and energy,
As they attack and try to consume me,
I only pass through life tryin to hide this pain,
But secretly I lie awake at night going insane,
Catch me quickly as I am falling down,
Save me befor I reach the ground,
I have little to take but lots to give,
Pray for me so I may continue to live,
No one understands the depth of it all,
Can you hear me at night when I call,
Fairy tales never coming true,
When will this terror ever subdue.
Carla E.Williams

Destiny

Destiny
Silence broken only when it becomes a catastrophe,
Who could have known it could have happened to me,
Life so short with so many choices to be made,
A decision can kill you with its sharpest blade,
Is this a real awakening from my God above?
Was I lost and forgot about your love,
In this world people do make mistakes,
A true awakening for the path each man makes,
Can a killer take back the life that has been taken?
Can peace be brought to the lives that have been shaken?
What about the liar’s thieves and the cheats,
How will they react when their destiny meets?
A man so cold burnt up in a fire,
Used to be every woman’s desire,
Now left alone unrecognizable to another,
Left behind with love only by his mother,
Is this the destiny planned by the lord?
Or did he choose his life’s full reward,
What about the child left to take on life alone?
To learn the morals she has not been shown,
Is it her destiny to become alone and ashamed,
Could the cards that were dealt be her parents blame?
What about the father strung out on dope?
The mother left behind to carry their child’s hope,
Is it destiny for them to survive on their own?
For them left without a father inside their home,
Its funny how decisions we make through life
Can take on new meaning throughout life’s strife
What about cancer, aides, and lupus is it really fair,
So sad but no cure for diseases that are out there,
What philosophy can be given to explain another’s destiny?
Does this unexplainable ending come from within me?
Written by Carla E Williams

Suddenly

Suddenly my heart changes as it was all in a daze,
Life's entrapment yet still a maze,
People pass thru it but yet i am still unchanged,
My mind still set and left derranged,
All but in an instance i am reminded of the past,
Memorys are made but leave so fast,
Constant turbulance in this mind of mine,
Two steps ahead of your very first line,
Suddenly you cross through my little life,
But i push you away for fear of the strife,
I dont try to contain what is not mine,
Because without you i will be just fine,
Someone has to be great to make me stay,
Because in my life i haven't met the better day,
Some say its out there just wait and be still,
So I carry on with my destiny to fullfill,
Shackled by chains that carry grief,
Life glorys stolen by a thief,
I want to receive the seeds i have sown,
I couldn't have done this much bad on my own,
Suddenly i feel so all alone.
By:Carla E.Willliams

Insomnia
Caught between life’s red tape
Cant seem to find a way to escape
All hopes dreams and ambitions
Screwed by all wrong decisions
Traveling through life so blind
How can this world be so unkind
Cant seem to really place any blame
Caught up by reality still the same
My kindness is turning so cold
Still reality has become so bold
Insomnia at night is kickin my ass
Always running into the wrong paths
As I lay at night I toss and turn
Peace of mind is all that I yearn
Terrible memories of deceit
Its a raging war tryin to defeat
A battle within can not win
Takin a breathe from within
Faster and faster days gone by
Sometimes feelin I wanna die
Cant stop dreamin the big dream
Threads breakin out of this seam
Cant fight it all in just one night
Insomnia whether wrong or right
Mama please take away the pain
My lifes got me locked in this chain
The water drips in the bathroom sink
The rythym is made when I lay to think
Used to be apple of my Daddys eye
Now all I do is make him cry
I need for things to lighten up
I now carry an overflowing cup
Too full to rest too cold to care
Thoughts runnin through the nights air
I don’t need any more than this
I just want my goodnight kiss
Hold me spin me wine me dine me
Hope one day peace can find me
Insomnia greetin me like a teacher
Damn it’s enough to kill a preacher
Take me guide me and show me
What life has bestowed me
Drowning at night in my own tears
No one to tell my hopes and fears
Butterfly flutters all gone in an day
Wishin the insomnia would go away.
By Carla E. Williams

Behind Enemy Lines

Behind Enemy Lines
As it passes by I try to discourage what could be,
Try to push back the thoughts so I don’t have just a memory,
The gates are open just waiting for me to pass through,
Even though I see it I don’t want to do what I am supposed to ,
Closer each day though it might be my last,
Tryin not to make decisions too fast,
Behind enemy lines with only one way out,
As I see it I try to see through all of the clout,
It’s been a long time coming and I can’t say I didn’t know,
With no place to hide and no place to go,
Trying to place thoughts of happiness inside of my head,
Trying to forget the things that have been said,
Left behind much worse but don’t really care,
Behind enemy lines not knowing what is really out there,
Will this be the day that the chaos takes me away,
Left without words and nothing to say,
Its hard to be in love but always feeling alone,
I hear it as you call me in that coldhearted tone,
As you touch me I feel fury and fire,
But only to love you is my desire,
Behind enemy lines is how I live,
Just knowing one day something has to give,
I can’t continue to be a prisoner of war,
Just so that you can add me to your endless score,
Can’t say I didn’t expect it when I signed up,
Just didn’t know you were really so corrupt,
Further and further I am losing my mission,
I know soon I will have to make a decision,
Behind enemy lines a place where no one desires to be,
Just knowing deep down I know the key,
Can’t really say though that I was beat,
When I knew you were full of lies and deceit.
1/23/05
By : Carla Williams