bLINDED

Blinded by the insanity, losing humanity, caught in the calamity of right and wrong,
Steadfast for a minute, until the heat is in it, wanting to pin it, like our republican senate,
the words may seem mumbled, thoughts may seem jumbled, true fact...life has tumbled down.

Cant catch a break, souls at stake, at each moment and breath I take,
chest feeling faint, as I repaint the memories of the once lived saint,
Blinded, walking dead mourning in my head, as the rhyme quickens and the plot thickens,laying in this bed.

Stepping out of sync, losing time, crossing life's finishing line, slowly losing my mind,
ambitions there, yet I still hear, every word that been spoken so clear, can't lose what was never there,
the question is what to do, when the love is not strong enough to carry you through, the question is was it true...

or is it that the love was tainted from the start only to leave another broken heart.. blinded feeling so far apart,
some food for thought, as we rot in an this moment for what we fought, all arms down as we surround
the silence with no love sound...
blinded yet profound, but i suppose what comes up must come down....


Carla 5/19/2011

At what point do you say no more, take what you have learned and close the door, on another chapter, another book, turn around without a second look. At what point do you stop pointing fingers, do you stop the commotion, slow down for a minute and jus breathe. At what point do you give it all up turn around and jus leave. Has this all been one big lie, jus to make my insides cry, drag me along jus for the ride. who what where when? defines where to stop and where to begin? comforts are now taken for granted like little seeds of hate firmly planted, when doe wrong become right? when does the darkness meet the light. who carries the answers who knows what todo because i know its not within me or you.

Sacrifice

Same shit different day coming at me this time in a different way, words twisted, wrongs listed, vows enlisted, yet the force says to push on. Same song different beat, no time to dance, near defeat, minds locked down to soothe the aggression, that holds down the depression, taking it all in hoping for success from within, you say, i say, he say, she say, but what matters?
Breathe in, breathe out, wiping eyes to see through the clout, holding in trying not to let it all out, Knots forming tightly, thoughts that I am not taking lightly, demons holding me down that i cant see.
Walking blind on this line of wrong and right, holding on standing tall trying to win this fight. Is it worth my sanity is it worth my pain, can i see the rainbow when I am dancing in the rain.
The lions roaring, birds singing, all the noises my heads ringing, coming too fast from the left from the right, weighted down every day and night.
Is this sacrifice a vow or a deed, is this really what i need? Everyone's in line to give their advice, but its just me feeling the sacrifice. Who is wrong who is right?

temptation from within

my minds thought again about the sin that tempts from within
todays way of seducing tommorows fate only to eliminate what we all love but hate
the minds perception of right and wrong walking the line or jus singing the song
still the same its right there between you and me just waiting in silence for the ultimate ephiny
for all to justify the wrong and the right
of the temptation that clouts my mind in the night
who will understand the countless thoughts rambling fast without any halts
the impulsive moves jus dont ever pan out
but they are ushered through crashing with doubts
inevitably its all been played through time and time again
just awaiting reaction to the temptation from within...

two sides to every penny

over time becoming worn if its lost no ones to mourn
various colors some old some new
no matter which side it is tossed still holding the same value
tossed from hand to hand jar to jar
the penny with two sides can be added multiplied and stored afar
no matter the places its traveled no matter the scratches the wear
still the same copper currency can collect and become something magnificent that we can all hold dear....

Erratic Rambling

Emotions unraveling at a fast pace
Only to embrace a moments peace in a familiar place
Symphonies playing in the back of my mind
As i release another erratic line
that can only be seen
by eyes like mine
Day to day trials
Ambitions denials
all thrown into the fiery piles
to be swept away by mind plays
no one notices
in passing
because it is locked away
stored
waiting to be written
but my thoughts get in the way....

Feeling so out of sync walking upon shattered glass paths,
Drinking upon dreams poured only to fill and become the past,
Salty air, clouted mind, nowhere to run, walking alone a step behind.
The thoughts they hide in the shadows to protect what I see,
Tomorrow dancing on the balance of today's reality.
Mind constantly saying no, while my soul is drowning in a pool of fantasy.
Frozen again like time standing still, only left to contemplate my own free will.
Numb to everything that cuts like razors in a pool of alcohol,
Saying it constantly yet no ones around to hear my call,
Broken bridges leading to a crumbling wall,
Fading into a breathless state, my own destiny left to contemplate.
Columns, rows, facts and figures, yet nothing understood, nothing triggers,
the understanding that's needed to make sense,
A plague placed upon the emptiness of the meaning of life's essence.

It's Not About Me

Fading fast, bending over to be fucked again by yet another crashing car,
Another fallen star, just being blown by the lips of fallen angels,raising the bar,
Twisted spirals, glass shards, being cut by life's hards,in the shadows i have drown lost that hand of cards,
But its not about me...
Being stung by another day, another hour, savored by the illusions as they devour,
Its just minds interpretations dancing in the dark, getting high off the spark,
Only for a passing moment as you breathe, turning back around now it's time to leave,
pseudo coded to comfort my own insecurities, of what i believe, who i was, who i am, and all other obscurities.
But its not about me...
Lightning pulsing through my veins,as it drains every ambition from within. Not fighting for freedom, no just cause, just the memory's between fine lines of the future and the flaws. Canceling the credit cards, the plastic currency that only gratifies for a moment, as I am left indebted to life's dues that guards the memory's that torment.
But its not about me...
Spread thinly feeling like just a layer, being played again like a piano player, i will not say what is fair because i am unclear on how it all began. Just another misinterpretation,another deliberation, upon the souls of man. As this is undoubtedly just how it is suppose to be, i know not the beginning or the end of iniquity.
But its not about me...
Deaf ears to a table that as been set as i neglect the shores that speak louder than any sea. I only hear the grains of sand slipping through the hourglass that will one day take me.The joy being replaced by tasks i do to keep the morale of those around to see. But they do not notice the lost soul in the shadows dark, because of the scars that taint every mission in the park..

Untitled

As I close my eyes tight,
Silently I am,
Sitting by the ocean,
Untangling thoughts,
Thoughts of,
Aggression,
Depression,
From every angle,
Every direction,
As stones are thrown,
The glass cracks,
But nothing broken,
Embracing each word spoken,
Taking in each token,
Friends,
Family,
Strangers,
Still silently I am drained,
From the expeditions of the process,
The tide rises and falls,
Waves crash and calm,
Still standing strong,
Each thought fine tuned,
Into the melody,
That carries me on,
Self shielding from the rain,
It is silence,
And the ocean,
That relieves all emotion.
Every hour every minute,
Coming fast,
From every state,
Slow burning,
This is reaction,
and the wheels keep turning.

Soul Tied

Painted blue skies,
Clouds forming shapes right before my eyes,
Gasping, drowning in awww,
Finding reality found through a dreamers ball,
Dangling on dandelions,
The sweet nectar begins to fall,
Sinking, down, to the ground,
my bleeding heart pounds emotionally,
into pieces,
It never ceases,
Continual aggression,
Tainted depression,
Casual rounds,
Silent sounds,
Heard only through the crashing tide,
It is what it is...
Soul tied...

Run Away

Believe

Believe without seeing it is reality,
Fate, love, destiny,
And the chemistry between you and me,
Know without seeing because you believe,
That the bond we share,
It is not only what you perceive.
Embrace the thoughts that pass through your mind,
Believing in fate, and the future,
Not worrying about what has been,
Or what’s left behind.
Know what you believe I already feel,
that’s what makes this so very real.
I have faith in what you believe…
S.G

I Don't Need To Be Lifted

I don't need to be lifted,
Just to fall down,
I have felt the pain,
Bled to the ground,
Theories form like wells,
Deep down in my soul,
As I contemplate,
On how it is,
Just to feel whole,
Seeds have been planted,
Roses died along passion,
My life is real,
Not just a fashion,
I don't need to be lifted,
To shatter like glass,
Just need reality,
As I walk knowingly,
Away from my past,
No deeds to great,
No stress to much,
Just need your smile,
And your angelic touch,
A large mystery,
that keeps on spinnin,
I don't need to be lifted,
To keep on winnin,
Another day,
Another hour,
Time keeps ticking,
I don't need patterns,
For lessons to thicken,
Along with the power,
Simply stated,
It is closed,
All faded,
Intricately positioned,
A delicacy,
With self made tradition.

In contempt of contemplation, no regulation, for celebration, my own obligation, no mediation, no medication.
A warped soul, with mind control, silenced echo, no one will ever know, i don't have a taste i have a bowl,
Gum drops melted, sugars not so sweet, my own battle, feelin beat,yet fast on my feet,
No it don't seem fair, don't really care, worn tried, bare, my minds eye stare,
Genuine as it can be, the reality, eating me, setting free, only the wind hearing me...

A Collab With OL SKOOL

A Vision of Love


A Seoulja Girl & OL SKooL Collaboration


I am lost in your eyes
Each morning they open wide
With loves bright rays and colorful displays
Of rainbows and a beautiful sunrise
And then your lips part
Words come forth on rhythmic air
As soft scents of jasmine ease from your hair
Mesmerized by the movement of your lips
My hands melted into the curves of your hips
Feeling the breathing heat from your skin
Stirring the desires of my passion for you from within
There is a comfort in your presence
Satisfaction in the flavor of your essence
There for me in a time of need
When I thought there was no love to be found
You came into my world and turned it upside down
Bringing a smile to my face
Filling that empty place
Surrounded by your elegance and grace
My skies are filled
And you are the sun, clouds, and all I see
Listening to you speak to me.
I hear your words of tranquility
Even when you do not speak
An inner connection so very unique
You surround me with courage
Like I have never felt before
Your strength keeps me inspired
And your unconditional love is the core
From the freshness of your skin
To the sparklets in your eyes
I want to feel you from within
Until tomorrows sunrise
Entangle me in your love's delight
Forgetting the shadow's of sadness
that keep you awake at night
I now know what true paradise is
I have been caught
and never want to be set free
Letting go of the pain
Evolving with love you place within me
As you scribe each moment we share
No one is left to compare
You have undoubtly caught my attention
You reside in my heart
And have shown me a new dimension.
In a place beyond this world
Where you and I have connected mind, body and soul
With tenderness commanding our beings
And making empty places whole
Feel the comfort of warmth in my arms holding you tight
The closeness of our bodies under the cover of night
Twisted into the mist of sweet bliss
Never have I felt a love and passion as deep as this
Looking into your eyes
They silently tell me my heart will be safe in here
No reason to closed off and cloaked in fear
I am vulnerable and open to your advance
Ready to receive the gifts of your love and romance
Ready to trust unconditionally
Trusting you with my heart entirely
What a blank canvas a bared soul can be
Waiting for you to paint your masterpiece of love inside of me
Priceless the gifts we give and receive
I had lost faith in love but you have made me believe
So all I can do in return is reciprocate all that you bestow
Release my anxieties and just let love flow
There is no comparison when it comes to what we share
Fantasies have subsided and reality is here
Our truest love's masterpiece in the making
There will be no denial and no forsaking
You are a genuine man that was taken for granted
Filled with convictions deeply implanted
Now you can release the anguish of the past
Fill them up with new memories
of a love that is substantial at last
Nourish my body quench my soul
I am no longer half but now I am whole
Engulfed in amazement like a twinkling star
You have broadened my outlook
being just who you are
Empowering a serene vision of love once again
Embedding your gift deep within
With our spirits lifted and our hearts on the line
We have found something no other can define,
Embrace this melody in the depth of your heart
Sharing each other till death do us part

My words just aren't enough...

It's time to cross the bridge,
Where I apologize meets action,
To show my word's aren't empty,
I apologize is just a fraction,
Time to turn it all around,
Show you what I mean,
Because people like you,
Do not come but once in a lifetime.

You are the tune that I dance to,
The light that shine's so bright.
You are the one I turn to,
when everything's not right.

My words just aren't enough.

Yesterday is over, yet your still here,
Today is a new sunrise,
I cannot wait to hold you near,
I watch the hourglass of sands,
As I embrace the moments,
I know our fate is left in destiny's hands.
I can't help but playout the future,
All within my mind,
Seeing only happy moments of you and I,
Dancing upon the moonlit skies,
With not a care in the world,
Breathing in the open air,
It is just us there.

I know I say it all the time,
That's because I do,
But I can't resist my lips,
From telling you,
I say because I mean it,
I'll show you as long as I live,
I know I don't have much,
But to you my heart I give,

My words just aren't enough.

We don't have to have nothing,
but the clothes on our backs,
I just want to live a lifetime,
Living your love till then end,
Yeah it would be nice to have it,
Have all that life can give,
But as long as I have you love,
That's all I need to live,
Let the sun rise and set,
The souls of sin fade,
As long as I got you by my side,
I know I got it made,
Cause you put this smile on my face
and get my heart beating,
There is nothing out there that can
erase
This love that I am feelin.

My words just aren't enough.

I'm Mama

It's simple, it's been stated,
your a sperm donor,
we jus dated,
So don't be tryin to kick some truth,
cuz you not daddy you silly ass youth,
Let me break it down,
this the way it goes,
I aint one of those roundaway hoes,
I BEEN takin care of mine,
And we doin jus fine,
Befor you and after you,
we do what we do,
still the same,
don't be tryin,
lieing,
to express your name,
Its your loss our gain,
I do not answer petty ass shit,
If you thought you knew,
It's best you quit,
I'm not mad just understand,
you donated but wasn't a dad,
So when you step bumpin your gums,
Add the shit up and equate the sums,
hmmm...did i ever support my own,
naw but i'm daddy,
explain that when they grown.
Tell me one of their favorite games,
oops i forgot you only know their names,
Better yet tell me what the clinic said,
oh you wouldn't know,
you think he's fucked up in the head,
Tell me any of their sizes,
You don't want them, you want prizes,
Shut your mouth don't even bother,
M'fer it takes more than words,
To be a father,
naw it don't just get that good,
don't get it misunderstood,
Cause aint nobody stutin this shit,
Don't want ya around,
time to quit,
Buy yourself a cookie,
for the blessing you made me,
But don't think ever,
your words can fade me,
Cause I know who has been down,
wheneva no one else was around,
I know who puts food on the table,
while your out finding you,
being unstable,
I know how far I have came,
without them calling out your name,
Not mad about what I gotta do,
This is US not about you,
Quit thinkin I'm tryin to cause you drama,
Cuz it's simple you aint even in the equation,
I am and always will be MAMA,
So get with the real,
feel how i feel,
don't be tryin to place blame,
understand still the same,
imma look out for mine,
till the end of time,
have been doing it for a minute,
and not ever gonna quit,
so feed yourself lies if you want,
I'm through,
Smoke that blunt....

AMAZING

Genuinely
you leave me
gasping,
breathless
yearning,
wanting,
to climax,
to your level,
You play each key,
high, low,
without fail,
authentically.

My mind,
intrigued,
My heart,
beating,
in sequence,
to you,
desiring life,
with each octave,
ascertained.

I value,
your essence,
the soft petal,
of your eloquence,
your fragrance,
uncharted,
intellectually,
inspiring,
like no other,
prolific,
euphony,
I cannot deny,
you are,
AMAZING....

I stand still with breaths of hope,
Intertwining the twisted rope,
The reverence of ambitions set ahead,
My mental intellect to be fed,
The fragrance of peaceful day's,
Revealing guidance through this maze,
The ambience of your love from afar,
Shall not reap the scorns that scar,
Not another day not another hour,
Do i choose to empower,
This fueled fire,
As it chases my hope my desire...

Diary

Lemme go off again,
Let you within,
This seoul of mine,
Right on time,
Imma be fine,
Cause it will be,
jus me,
at the front line,
evolving,
toward my very own,
Destiny,
I may stumble,
But don't get it twisted,
This woman,
Strives,
And If you blink,
You missed it,
The haters,
The fakes,
Don't try to stop,
Just sink,
Below,
Cause Imma show ya,
Where to put it,
And how to go,
I don't have time,
For nothin but REAL,
Just read the icies,
Of the diamond words,
Get inspired,
and feel
my flow...

Listen to the beats,
That keep me,
Constantly,
Thriving,
Surviving,
Diving,
Into the deep,
The hooks,
that make me,
Remember,
What to lose,
and who to keep,
These tracks,
Hold memories,
The emery's,
That scratch,
More realities,
Than I can speak,
Writing to,
The old school jams,
Throw backs,
Forgotten tracks,
Filled with,
Facts,
Of Love,
Healing,
Lust,
Hate,
Desire,
My Ambitions,
My Fire,
That fuels,
All echoes,
In my mind,
Of each challenge,
I accomplish,
to become,
Better,
Grounded,
and
Divine.

Talkin bout,
The greatest,
Beats,
The tightest,
Flow,
I'm mesmerized,
upon thoughts,
And let em go,
For all to see,
All to read,
My Life,
Written,
My Poetic,
Diary.