Yahoo 360 Post

Entry for February 08, 2006

dont need a second class lover...need a first class highly dedicated type of man who takes time to understand... one who plays off my bad days to make them brighter...See's the bond we have and isn't scared to make it tighter...A real lover not afraid to take it higher...One who will inhale the good exhale the sad, always keep it on point when things may seem bad...yeah one who will squeeze me tighter to make those fine girls frown, lift me up spin me around...i dont need no drama at anytime, just keep letting me know that you are mine...cant no man say i have never given them a chance, cause i'm a true pisces and love romance...dont need a second class lover...need a man who knows how to put it down right, one who i can hold late at night...one who is not afraid to let go of his fears, one who is not afraid to show me his tears...i dont need a father but maybe a daddy,to wine me dine by the seashore at night in his caddi...one who will stand up for me and show his love..boy i know you were sent from above...dont need a second class lover...one who is not worried about what others say or wht others think...one who will be the strong half of my chain link...yeah one who will be here not just today but the next day and the next...one who will stick by me whenever however even if things get complex...doesn't follow how others want him to act just knows how to be him...one who knows he has a gal no matter what that is above all the rest of them...dont need a second class lover...

Yahoo 360 Blog Post

Entry for February 08, 2006

Presidential Style Love

Yeah thats what I said you deserve because man you make my heart beat,

When you make me sweat you do it from my head to my feet,

You got that rythym that the stars in hollywood know nothing about,

You deserve that Presidential Style love baby there is no doubt,

So roll out the red carpet, because you have V.I.P with me tonite,

No R.S.V.P needed for this occasion, you are the special one I invite,

A dinner for two by candle lite, romantic love songs, no promises that I won't bite,

The aroma of Presidential Style love, can you smell it, oh its so sweet,

That Presidential Style love, man I am going to light you on fire and give you a treat,

You will be hotter than a volcano ready to erupt, quit thinking so nasty man with those visions so corupt,

This is not a girls gone wild night not even close, I will fulfill that tingle from your head to your toes,

I will not just accept the motion of the ocean I will entice the sea, oh did I forget to mention this entire night is just you, me in ecstacy,

Baby this Presidential Love your getting is not just like any other,

I will find new places you have never thought of to discover,

A cherry bubble bath, a rose to save the stars,

we will have moments of slowness and movements of fast cars,

I will leave you spinning in this Presidential Style love wishing it would never end,

I will have you bending places you never thought could bend,

I see that grin on your face now, oh no were not through,

That Presidential Style lovin has just started tonite boo,

so lay back relax cause your in for a ride,

You just stay calm as I pour all that Presidential Love inside.

Yahoo 360 blog post...

Entry for February 13, 2006

Looking back I remember the little cards with the Valentine candies and sweets,

The huggleble bears, the dozens of roses, and the Be My Valentine Treats,

I still remember the boy that pulled me aside and quickly kissed me on the cheek,

It could have been the best memory in elementary if only his breath did not reek,

But through the years time did go by and I learned more about this day,

The romantic vibe, the sweet essence of love, the lovers tango with that sexy sway,

So now I will ask you so softly in your ear "Will You Be My Valentine?",

Be that one to have and to hold and to always be mine?

I know this is real the way that I feel, so now I must patiently wait,

I know our meeting was true from the start, that you know without debate,

I love thinking about our future and how nice it will be,

Thoughts too sensual to tell, visions of you and me,

So on this very special date,

there is nothing left for us but fate,

I Love You Dear So very much,

I quiver at the thought of your touch,

You know its me that you want and you seek,

You can Be Mine Dear,

But please don't ever again kiss me on the cheek.

Yahoo 360 blog post

Entry for February 20, 2006

Getting down to the nitty gritty, cant say all things in life are pretty, you left too soon babe now your time is expired, now isn't that just a pity.

Another sad love song to add to your collection, like a virus caused from your own unprotection, take life sit back and glance at your reflection,now you see it wasn't just my imperfection.

I laugh now that it is over and you are gone, a true memory like a chorus from a song,quit asking me where you went wrong, you oughtta know your time has expired its been too long.

You act as if its me that i refuse to give you that last chance, for you to play the same old song and dance, you can't get me back in that trance, nope not under any circumstance.

You said that it was wrong for me to lie, let the truth be told now don't be shy,your just the same old loser guy, with no love from me now i can't deny.

Hop on that train back to wherever you came, take back with you those words so lame, its so sad what a shame, lose my number forget my name.

Your time with me has expired, your sexual healing is played out and tired.....

to be continued..........................

Yahoo 360 Blog Post

Entry for March 01, 2006

Below the rainbow sits a pot of gold just waiting to be found,

You do not need to search for in time it will come around,

You might have to travel through stormy weather and rainy days,

But the treasure is out there, not hidden, no puzzle, no maze,

Look deep within in your soul first find out what you want in life,

To find that pot of gold you must first get over the hurdles and strife,

Yes somedays it may feel like you will never find what you are looking for,

But I am living proof that you never get to plan what life has in store,

So don't lay with your head hung low and in a miserable state,

Because one day soon your pot of gold will be here just you wait.

26 May 2008

venting random bullshit.... You aint got the best of me.... Its been shown over history... your ignorance your misery... but don't think you have won... you aint got the best of me... Given too much... been your steppin stone... been your crutch... taken for granted... a broken backbone... as you sang your silver spoon lines... Not another day not another lie... This aint no sorrowful Goodbye... This is reality... You aint got the best of me... Yeah you think you got the world in your hands... Pity for you and your dumb ass demands... I may not have it all figured out... as my world has its clout... and i may be ridin on a razor fence... but i am not at my mamas house bein called the brown eyed prince... it never was never meant to be... you aint got the best of me... as you carry queens of sorrow on your back... oh yeah and your bullshit sex you call ectasy it was wack... as you cry because you were bitten by a flea... just remember you aint got the best of me...

June 2, 2008 - Monday

untitled.... Category: Writing and Poetry Conflicts arise, Yet I despise, The tears in their innocent eyes, Time to switch gears, Leaving yesterdays fears, As the sunset nears, Singing in the rain, Shouting out the stain, Allowing what strengthens me to remain, As I demonstrate, To release the hate, To enlighten my fate, Taking it day by day, Watching the children play, All sadness left in the month of may. SG

Flexwriters Challenge....
Category: Writing and Poetry

To understand this...go here:
Flexwriters

1. Big ears, Large mouths,little brains... is where ignorance remains.

2. Love today...tomorrow is not promised.

3. Build your boat strong...The ocean is not always calm.

4. I live strong through my child's eyes...

5. A dog can shit anywhere as long as you allow them to.

June 1, 2008 - Sunday

Flexwriters Sunday Brunch Topic.... Category: Writing and Poetry Secrets behind walls, behind smiles, His bruising hands, his lips full of denial, Crashing down, like a crashing car, I wonder about my children, Can they see this, And where they are, Silently this becomes my muse, A statistic in a case of abuse, I have come to far for this, This fury this rage is his, Letting go this time, Was easier than before, As I close a once open door. SG Please visit Flexwriters Sunday Brunch...

Flexwriters...Release with Mikki...
Category: Writing and Poetry

Just a lil somethin...off the top of my dome...no corrections made...just was writing the Release Challenge with Mikki....


It's mathematical,
simple subtraction,
minus you,
Equals my satisfaction,
I don't feel the pain,
Don't feel blue,
Only see rainbows,
Left in a sky so blue,
I am me,
Never to be,
taken for granted,
by angry brutality,
So as you walk,
your path of shame,
go ahead,
erase my name,
outta your mind,
outta your cell,
remember the lesson,
that i taught so well,
i told you once,
i told you twice,
now the third time,
aint gonna be nice,
so cancel me out,
out of your life,
outta your night,
outta your day,
and back the F*$@
UP
and stay out my way....

SG

4/23/08

words...words...and more words...
Category: Writing and Poetry

Somewhat tempermental, sentimental, with a touch so gentle.Living life like a rockstar with its ups and downs going out of bounds fighting the rounds as I inhale the deepest of sounds.Metaphorically speaking, with some bass boom tweaking, as my mind is forever geeking upon the innerside of me leaking outloud.Stranded in a daze, this fire burning full blaze, as the outsiders begin to taze and the young ones still here to amaze me.Blindfolded and cut with a dull knife's blade, ambitions fade, under the gloomy shade of the darkened crusade.Like a gentle breeze swept off the seas I exhale the damage that stings like bees but yet in the end I hear the echoes of the dues and the fees.Underneath the moonlit stars, only I know the inner scars, caused by the crashing cars, sedated by smoke filled bars.Takin it all in with stride, morals begin to subside, within my heart I confide, as if everything else has died.

4/17/08

Trials tribulations, resignations, time to set forth my own deviations,

Natural disasters mentally unstable to be anyones fairytale fable,
New thoughts come in as i contemplate the unforgivable sin within.
To just be able to exhale, as I fail, and in the end I begin to derail.
No satisfaction just a chain reaction that is just the beginning just a fraction.
Judge me or judge me not, always the truth i sought,my soul has already been bought.
Losing self is easy to do when you forget to focus on you, the beginning or the end I must do what I gotta do.

I wrote this one for Flexwriters stormy monday...

I Chose Picture 1

Take Me Away

Lets create a movie,
Filled with pics of you and me,

Far away places we have never been, With only Forever to begin.

Lets see the mountains tall, Inhale life, explore it all,

Let my minds dreams release, As I am finally filled with peace,

In my mind I know its supposed to be, Not only love but true destiny.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3/27/2008

Forever

Love revolves even when your away,

In my thoughts my dreams my nights and my day,

My beloved you know who you are,

My love, unconditionally yours by far,

I am lost forever in love with you,

Perserverence, Eternity, Destiny, all I pursue,

Is shown to me each day in all that you do,

I am lifted by your love inspired by your dreams,

Your eyes sparkle like diamonds and your true self gleems,

Your Joy brings me peace and your smile brings me light,

As you remain in my heart to infinity each day and every night,

With each new path that you may choose to endeavor,

Know that my heart will remain yours forever.

3/21/08

Round and Round,

Circles and Time,

Left On the Line,

I smile,

I say,

Everything is fine,

Make no mistake,

I aprecciate,

My presence,

as I am drained,

By the existince,

Of Life’s High,

Life’s Low,

As I continue,

In this maze,

That Feel’s,

Like An Endless Circle.

3/21/08

Detections,

revealing imperfections,

misguided directions,

my darkest secrets protections,

not your grade A selections,

It all has a cost,

As I exhaust ,

I am lost,

In my own life long holocaust,

My very own bitter frost,

Time to think,

Time to drink,

As I sink,

And try to fix

this broken link.

As I steal,

Another meal,

Try to voice,

How I feel,

And

see what is REAL.

3/20/08

It is a bit ironic this love so plutonic your strength so bionic as I drown in life’s tonic,

You know me, my complexity, as it should be, mentally, physically,sexually,

You know my move befor I make it, when I fake it, what I will do to shake it, when I can and I can’t take it,

Even when I am not at my best, you see me above the rest, as I watch this love manifest, who would have guessed,I would be so blessed,

It is you that has shown me so much more, you win the final score, as I adore, your very core, I never have been loved like this befor,

You look at the shattered glass, watch me pass moving fast, even when your left feeling last, you see the beauty in this outcast,

If I were to take my last breath of air, I would know you were there, treated me so amazing even when it did not seem fair, no one could come between this love we share,

So as I write this verse, and feel my heart is gonna burst,and everything may seem like it’s going in reverse know that my love is not a curse.

3/18/2008

I, Too, sing a tune of Seoul

I, too, sing a tune of Seoul.

I am the orphan child.
They sent me across the seas,
To learn on my own,
But I am proud,
To be who I am,
Despite the mockeries.

Everyday,
I smile,
Because they may judge.
But Definitely,
They don’t know me,
I do not hold a grudge,
Just Integrity,

Anyways,
With each stone that is cast my way,

I am grateful for my life each day.

I, too, sing a tune of Seoul

To check out some more please go here:

FlexWriters Cafe

3/17/08

Diamond In The Rough...

He is the diamond in the rough,

The sparkling jewel of my life,

My constant could not describe him enough,

He is the diamond in the rough,

Makes me smile if only for awhile,

The one that takes away the pain,

The one who shelters me from the rain,

He is the diamond in the rough,

The one I hold close to my heart,

He is the one that makes me laugh,

The one that walks me through this path,

He is my diamond in the rough,

The one who holds the key,

If only for a minute and hour a day,

He is the one who steals my heart away.

3/17/08

When you’re cut it can heal, you may be down for a few.
When you’re emotionally hurt, you may be down for a century or two.
Emotional pain seems harder to survive through.
At the end of the day these concepts connect as one...

PAIN

Pusherman pusherman send me another line to inhale because I feel
without it I will fail,
Take me to that place where I can find that pot of gold the place where
age never gets old,
Pusherman pusherman sell me just another small hit so I can get lit and
lose thought of all this shit.
So I can soar with birds in the sky lifted high and not worry how I’m
gonna get by,
Pusherman pusherman let me have a little more as I ignore the demons
knocking at my door,
What you serve takes the edge off my swerve and gives me that piece of
pleasure that I deserve.

Pusherman pusherman just give me one last toke as I am lost within the

smoke before the red tape surrounds me and I begin to choke,

Its the high that i seek, I feel invincible so to speak,

this drug takes over and makes me weak.
Pusherman pusherman your drug called love is intoxicating keeps me
waiting never fading for this drug there is no rating.


~The best love that you can give or receive is unconditional~Carla

Another day, a dream away, peace, and serinity,makes its way,
One,two,three,taken from reality, its me, surrounded by a daydreamers destiny,
No more illusions,tainted with dillusions,only intelligent conclusions,
There is no pain, everyone here is sane,no words in vain,no reason to complain,
Love fills the air,innocence is everywhere,points are made clear,there is nothing to fear,
No bills to pay,no deadlines for today,no games to play,sunshines like the month of may,
This castle in the sky,set to sanctify,purify,and happiness can only magnify.

2/26/2008

An inch away from insanity bruised from the calamity and unknown destiny that calls for me,
True purpose hanging outside as I look within knowing not where to begin to place the trials and the sin,
Beaten bloody sent away looking for the brighter day as I send all the good astray,
All around me the questions are hung,as I am sprung, around the twisted tounge that reels in the young.
Choosing between wrong and right,dieing slowly within the plight,can't sleep at night yet fighting the good fight.

2/2/2008

The Instigater
I am not perfection,I seek direction,as I ride upon the erection of lifes hard,
My thoughts are deep,my soul I fight to keep,yet my wounds seep,and my mind is scarred,
Don't take me as a fool, because you will be my tool, as I school you in yet another lesson,
My strength comes from wars within, the trials the sin,as I begin to pen this aggression.
My life I release, letting out the beast, as I write each peice, and you feast upon each line,
I am not a hater, segregator,investigator, intimidater,just an instigater placed here to masturbate your mind.

2/25/2008

Rhetoric unstable events, consequential elements,sparatically crossing the fence,begging for confidence,
Sentiments evaded, segregated,sunlight shaded, morals faded,somewhat baited,
Is this really destiny,do you love me,kissing me gently,I take responsibility,
The dice have been rolled yet again,as we dance upon the sin,of where to begin,and when,
The tempo moves faster,I choose disaster,as I capture the wrath of my master.
Sinking down, I feel the ground, I can barely hear the sound,because the red tape is all around.
Can't place blame, I came, heard your name,and now I swim in the pool of shame.
2/25/2008

Today is a day lost if I continue with out you,
You are the gift left for me each day that I continue,
For our paths were crossed with much reason from above,
As strangers we did meet and it has led to unconditional love,
Countless days countless hours you have placed smiles upon me,
As you wander about embedding footprints in my heart ever so gently,
I can't take for granted the time I am blessed here,
Because of my friends and family's love that I have share,
If my time would expire right now on this day,
I know the love of my friends and family would send me on my way.
Thank you for everything you do be it big or small,
And know I will be there if ever you should call.
2/19/08

11/10/2006

just a little something i posted on my space.

First Of all I have to say Fuck Off!!!

If you are here to talk shit I really do not care!

Nothing said can move me...

If I do not like you its for a reason...

More than likely a really good reason...

I dont kiss ass dont suck dick and never ever have loved a TRICK.....

BITCH

KEEP MY NAME OUT OF YOUR DICK SUCKIN MOUTH!!!

TO EVERYONE ELSE...

THANKS FOR BEING MY MYSPACE FRIENDS!MWUAH!!!

Fom Dusk 'Till Dawn

In life sometimes things seem so complicated, my happiness has faded, but yet I have waited, for the true purpose for which I am created,
I kiss the babes as they go out the door, watching them grow, as they explore, I do adore them as their minds soar,
They bring me light with so much delight even when I am in my darkest night they strengthen me to continue to fight,
From dusk ‘till dawn,

When the world tries to bring me down, cant stand with two feet on the ground, I am left feeling like no one is around, then suddenly I hear the sound,
Saying,” Mommy I love you”
From out of the blue, I again have the strength I need to continue, not forgetting to give credit where credit is due,
From dusk ‘till dawn

It seems to get harder as time passes by, to make it a day without wanting to cry, but yet I still look toward the sky, for my sanity supply,
Thanking God each day I breathe, as the babe’s relieve the way I perceive, because in him I believe, and this gift of life I receive.
From dusk ‘till dawn

I Stand

Spiritual warfare,
The devils delight,
The battle cries louder every night,
The warriors sent to claim victory over it all,
The armor gilded for even the small.
I stand…
A child’s innocence lost in a day,
Forgetting nursery rhymes
Forgetting to play,
Mothers weep,
Losing sleep.
I stand…
A neighborhood pusher man,
Pimps on the street,
Kids being beat,
Bullets with no name,
Drugs are the blame,
I stand…
This is not a game to play,
Its real life its time to pray,
Having faith in what God can do,
Not just for me but also for you,
It’s because of him.
I stand…

Flexwriters Collaboration posted 12/24/07 on My Space

By Lena Washington and Seoulja Girl

Look at me and my Asian ethnicity, what is it that you see?

Does your description fit without knowing my history?

Or do you just look at my slanted eyes the tone of my skin?

Forgetting all substance of knowing me from within.

Is it conceived I am one of the women that can be bought at the store?

Is your vision taken from the movie, the me love you longtime whore?

Excuse me do you know me….

Is it true society has acquired all Asians are Chinese,

We eat Sushi, rice, and yes the old school rhyme we have dirty knees,

Do all Asians require you pay now or is the conception given really foul?

Must we all speak like pho chimmi chan and chow?

Do you see an Asian woman or do you see a chink?

Yeah I said it this one really makes you think.

Excuse me do you know me….

hello, helloyou may have it twisted

about what this brown Sista has in store

so let me give you a clear vision

my skin isn't black it is the color of chocolates

and, caramel, earth and sunset

I don't snap my fingers shake or twist

I ain't just a big booty an a smileor your Mammie

waiting to make cornbread

wit cornrows all up in my head

red scarf an happy like the Aunt Jemima you all see

it is a mystery how you could believe that about us me

hello hello

back to reality

my nails ain't a mile long an my weave ain't sky high

I don't got no baby daddy or receive a welfare check

and spend that on my pappy

drop it like its hot or start fights on my block or like to be called Shawty

No.

Hello, HelloI'm telling you something, you need to know...

This is who I am…

An Asian woman with goals dreams and ambitions.

Refusing to be set below any type of conditions.

Continually my eyes see a brighter light,

Filled with morals values and insight,I value love I value trust and sincerity is a must,

I am faithful caring but not trifling by lust,

This is who I am…Korean by birth and not Chinese,

I speak English after crossing the seas,

I am me I can not be put in a category,

Because I have my very own story,

Knowledge is a Blessing to me each day,

I know I have a purpose each time I pray.

My vagina may be chocolate

But its All the same

I am a woman brown

word magician Descendant of queens

With survival wishes

Future check pusher

into my wallet that is,

And More than a color

But a bearer of hope for the future

I am an intellectual

Hyper sexual Unforgettable

UndeniableSpeaker of truths

Obiama with a pen as my magical tool Quintessential Wo (don't need no) man

Entrenched but not drowning in stereotypes.

Damn, Did you get all that ?

Let me bring it back I am Who you want to be

Regardless of the color of me Baby don't fight

I am who you dream of at night

That is who I am

This is what you see.

You have a pussy so do I....

You have creativity and so do I....

your man did you wrong at one time and so did mine

Experiences only make us strongerwords form within us

Our ink in sync with our flow

Asian and black doing on the pen tip just like that!

Colors turn gray

Colors turn gray

surrounding me

as I cry

indefinitely

desperately

I try to hold on

and

failure

is the hidden secret

which hangs

upon my day

and

my night.

I have sewn cocoons of silk

and

destroyed the gardens

with much regret.

There was a time

I felt so high

as I kissed the sunlit sky

but now that painting has faded.
and

the colors are gray

and

its dark

and gloomy

no more laughter.

no more cheers,
I grow despite the goodbyes

that have placed yesterday as

a memory.

I grow.

Blues

I am now deaf to the music,
I no longer sing the tune,
No more time to dance,
I don’t hear the bass boom.

The band has stopped playing,
The cold silence is in the air,
I am still as a statue,
To move is my own fear.

The lyrics are lost,
With the ones and twos,
I am weakened now,
My silence is the blues.

Walk Dead

When you see me I am now your worst nightmare,
As you close the once opened door,
I take on the responsibility,
I am no longer the lucky charm,
Between the dusk and dawn.
A lesson unforgotten,
Impossible reversal;
I am left unstable,
My body walking dead -
shall reap the seeds sown.
I am left in your head.
Time for darkness again,
Time moves so slow,
The thought haunts me,
You have now walked away,
never to return,
I must walk dead.
Alone.

VOID

Decisions I made will be a constant reminder of why we are not what we were when we first began this journey.
The words were not spoken only sent to me but I heard them louder than anything you ever said to me.
It took away every breathe I thought I could not breathe. Hit me harder than a car crash.
I gasp for air and feel the harsh coldness and pain in what used to be my heart.
My blood barely pumping through my veins as I am depleted.
I wish I were allowed take on your pain as well.
I am dead to you now like I never existed.
The agony I can’t complain because it is well deserved.
I have no excuse.
I am left in the darkness left in the shadows.
This is to be expected.
The promises, the laughter, the fun, the kisses, all but a memory.
The ending so wretched my storms began again.
I am left scarred by the cold truth of my own decision.
I understand I cannot stay within that space as now the void is mine.

Let me be the key to your fantasy,
Let's explore each others ecstasy,
As we endeavour on this new exploration,
Let me pleasure your orgasmic sensation,
Let's enjoy this moment from beginning to end,
As you watch the sillouette of my back bend,
Let me give you pure satisfaction,
As your taken by my asian attraction,
Let's make this into a memorable night,
Taking climax to a whole new height.

Poetic Resume

Inside I have built up emotion
the fury crashes like the ocean
sometimes i wanna runaway
just to see the brighter day
i am overwhelmed with it all
then i hear my ink pen call
as i write about the commotion
my flow calms the crashing ocean
a poetic resume of my soul
helps me to take on lifes toll

to my pisces friend...kindred spirits we ARE...

I can't contain the stimulization from the colorization the noise of loud conversation,
I dislike certain fibers that rub against my skin, my patience quickly wears thin,
I do not know what it does to me, so I cry out conststantly, I am taught to speak emotionally,
I have an IQ higher than the rest, because I am blessed, my social interraction is my biggest test,
I am a boy in a world that does not understand, as my mother takes my hand, counsels me so that I can stand,
I can tie my shoes, get dressed like the rest, its just hard to get my feelings off my chest,
I am very analytical, mathmatical, matter of factual,
The other children think I am weird, everything makes me scared, some days its hard to get my thoughts cleared,
People have this conception that my goal is deception when its only their own perception,
Its been clinically found that I will have my ups and downs even when mommy is not around.
Please understand I am a child with Aspergers.

To My Inspiration..Tunk the smart one....

My Constant

I love the way you walk,
the way you talk,
that sexy smile,
that says let's wait awhile.
The shimmer in your eyes,
it comes as no surprise,
you take me away to paradise.
You are my constant...
That perfect phase,
You continue to amaze,
Take me to that place,
To continue my days,
Your strong your couragious,
So very contagious,
This love is outrageous,
You are my constant...
You shelter me from the rain,
Counsel me in my pain,
Bring me back to feel sane,
But never do you complain,
You lift me up higher,
Like the highest note in a choir,
I have to admire,
You are my constant...
In life I have taken a ride,
Been alone until I let you inside,
Continually you are my guide,
Always on my side,
I am left all in a bliss,
Taking away the painful abyss,
As I am again lost in your kiss.
You are my constant...

To my constant my heart the one that has stood by my side only lifting me higher....

Reinstated

Hesitations, complications, losing patience to your fabrications,
A world of allegations, quick sensations, racist nations, and temptations,
Wretched lies, no surprise, you close your eyes to this demise, no cries, no goodbyes, it is your own pain you disguise,
Morals lost as you exhaust at any cost every path that you have crossed, all sympathy I have tossed,
Apology not accepted you are rejected to what you projected as you have erected yet another hard,
Masturbate with your brain as you drain yet another vein trying to explain your reign of irreversible pain,
Borrow time again you will no win but yet you named me kin I will not let you in,
Conclusions from your illusions, placed delusions, causing emotional transfusions, and uninvited intrusions,
Emancipated I am deflated as you baited twisted and overrated you will never be reinstated.

By: Carla

12/12/2007

Today I see the light that shines so bright, the history that guides me to this night, the fury the hate that has caused the fight, the scorn the mockery in which you delight,
I come to a place where peace resides, to settle the tides, all misery subsides, as I hold on to another one of lifes rides,
I know that there will be better days, this is just a test a simple phase, as I have found a way out of this maze, letting loose of this spinning daze,
Simply put I had to let go, let all emotional warfare flow, taking each blow, it will be all worth it in the end I know,
I know I am not alone in this place, its the victory to overcome that I taste, as I take stride in this race, with each battle that I face, as its now joy that I will chase.

Trying

I TRY NOT TO MAKE THINGS WORSE BETWEEN US AS I ALREADY KNOW THE DAMAGE I HAVE PLACED,THE IMPACT I HAVE CAUSED THE MEMORYS YOU WANT SO BAD TO BE ERASED,THE SILENCE THAT HAS TO BE FACED,I HAVE TO BE CANCELLED I UNDERSTAND, THIS IS NOT WHAT I HAVE PLANNED,I JUST NEED STRENGTH RIGHT NOW TO STAND,IF I COULD CHANGE IT ALL I REALLY WOULD, FEELING I FEEL STILL MISUNDERSTOOD, I MEANT NO HARM ONLY GOOD,I WISH THAT I COULD JUST TAKE IT ALL BACK, FIGURE OUT WHERE I GOT OFF TRACK, CHANGE IT ALL AND THIS TIME WITHOUT SLACK,LOVE IS REALLY A RAZOR THAT CUTS LIKE A KNIFE, I FEEL IT MORE EACH DAY AS I CONTINUE THROUGH LIFE,PLEASE GOD HELP ME GET THROUGH THE STRIFE,
9/28/07

As much as I would love to say that everything is alright,
I cannot say it because I think about it everyday and everynight,
Somewhere somehow in this world I have lost sight,
Still reaching, in this battle I continue to fight,
All things happen for a reason they have told me,
But why do these reasons bring pain and misery,
To my heart you will forever hold the key,
Because I still will love you for eternity,
This be the reason I can only wish you the best,
Continue to pray that you will be blessed,
I will always beleive in the love we confessed,
But for now my words my heart i will put to rest...

9/24/2007

Blown

BLOWN TO AN INDECRIBABLE STATE, A FRIENDSHIP TURNED TO HATE, AS YOU DISPISE MY FATE, AND HURT MY OWN CHILDREN AT ANY RATE,FUNNY HOW WHEN YOU NEEDED ME I WAS ALWAYS THERE, NOTHING I HAD I COULD NOT SHARE, BECAUSE I REALLY DID CARE, BUT MY CHILDREN EVEN YOU COULD NOT SPARE,BLOWN BY THE ENY THAT CAUSED YOU TO DISPISE, THIS TIME I CANNOT COMPROMISE,THIS DRAMA YOU CAUSE IS LARGE IN SIZE, YOU HAVE CAUSED MY HATRED TO RISE,BLOWN BY THE THOUGHT OF WHAT WAS SAID, NOW IN MY HEART YOU ARE DEAD, THE TAPE YOU PLACED IS SO RED, THIS TEAR WAS THE LAST I WILL SHED,I EVEN TOOK YOU IN, WHEN YOU FELT LIKE YOU COULD NOT WIN,AND I WOULD HAVE DONE IT AGAIN, BUT NOW ITS ALL WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN,BLOWN BY THE FACT I THOUGHT I KNEW YOU, THOUGHT THAT YOU CARRIED SOME TYPE OF VIRTUE, NOW WHAT TO DO, TAKE THINGS DAY BY DAY AND CONTINUE,I WAS TOLD ONCE YOU WERE TWO FACED, I THOUGHT YOU WERE MISPLACED, NOW YOUR ACTIONS ARE DISGRACED, AND YOUR FRIENDSHIP HAS BEEN ERASED,I HAVE HAD ALOT OF HURT IN MY LIFE, I DONT WORRY UNTILL IT CAUSES MY CHILDREN STRIFE, THE GAMES YOU PLAY HAVE CUT LIKE A KNIFE, ALL BECAUSE YOU WONDERED ONE DAY WOULD I BECOME HIS WIFE,BLOWN BY THE FACT YOU COULD NOT COME TO ME, INSTEAD YOU PLAYED FOUL AND GREEDY, WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LET ME BE, AND YOU KNOW IN MY HEART HE HOLDS THE KEY,FUNNY HOW LIFE TAKES ITS TURN, WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN, I NEED TO STOP AND NOT TAKE CONCERN,AND LET THIS FRIENDSHIP BURN,I WOULD HAVE LISTENED IF YOU WOULD HAVE SPOKE, BUT INSTEAD YOU'VE GONE FOR BROKE, AS YOU PRY AND YOU POKE, BLOWN BY THE LENGTHS THAT YOU HAVE GONE, THE THOUGHTLESS ACTIONS YOU HAVE SPAWN, THE SWORDS YOU HAVE DRAWN, DONT WORRY THOUGH I SHALL CARRY ON,YOU COULD NOT HAVE THOUGHT, BEFOR YOU BEGAN TO PLOT, I WONDER IF YOU RECEIVED THE GRATITUDE YOU SOUGHT, AS YOUR SOUL WAS BOUGHT,BLOWN BY THE FACT YOU REALLY DON'T CARE, YOUR WORRIES ARE NEITHER HERE NO THERE, YOUR GAMES JUST PLANTED ANYWHERE, FOR THIS ONE TIME NOTHING CAN COMPARE,I CANT REMEMBER EVER BEING BETRAYED LIKE THIS, BEING TRAPPED IN A BULLSHIT BLISS, YOUR CHILDREN I WILL TRUELY MISS, NOW ALL I CAN DO IS REMINICE."THIS BE THE DAY I WAS TAUGHT A TRUE LESSON. NEVER WILL I AGAIN BE PUT IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS...I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ALL WAS SAID...BUT I CAN SAY YOU DID NOT FULLY THINK ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOURSELF...SOMETIMES IN LIFE YOU HAVE TO THINK THAT IT COULD NOT ONLY HURT ONE BUT EVERYONE THAT IS A PART OF THAT PERSONS LIFE" 9/14/2007

9/11/2007

Taking blame for actions for all satisfactions something like the fall guy but again I continue and I try. Losing sleep as I continue to weep over circumstances that continue to seep. I have no control as it continues to bleed my soul and my kids follow through yet another toll.I have so many lessons learned for all the love that I have yearned only to be let down as they begin to clown my world still left upside down.So through out life I learn to be strong because forever for me does not last long, can you hear my song.I realize now that none were meant for me, and my love you can only see the beauty, love me with all my iniquity.I do not have it in me to be mean or have revenge for those who infringe as I continue on this binge.I have thoughts of aggression that steal this obsession this is the truest confesion.So I write these poems to release all pleasure and pain within me my ink begins to drain but still yet keeps me sane when outpours the rain.Life changes people move on I am still yet a pawn as I continue on.My boys I look into there eyes as my heart crys yet within this smile I carry my disguise.They ask me why I cannot deny makes me want to cry I smile but within I feel like I am going to die.

Can I Come In?

It’s the talk you talk, the line you walk, the way you move your tone so smooth, that silenced swagger, sharp like a dagger….Can I come in…
It’s the way you speak so unique, the subtle grin, I yearn from within, keeps me all in a daze, my eyes in a glaze. Can I come in…
it’s the strength you carry, nothing scary, the courage you know, that keeps that flow, fine like wine, just give me a sign. Can I come in…
It’s your hard candy mind, yet so sexy and fine, you light up the night, with words of insight, as I continue to desire your love on fire. Can I come in…
You are so unique, with the words you speak, as the storm clears, your pain disappears, as love transcends, your journey begins. Can I come in…
As you taste the bread of words said, trying to trust what used to be lust, motivated by positive energy, to set you free. Can I come in…
it’s the way you choose not to loose, my reaction to your satisfaction, the freaky side that I want to ride, the rhythm within your soul, that places achievement upon your goal. Can I come in…
the strength to survive, knowledge to stay alive, your kindred ways, your hard worked days, without complaining, as its raining. Can I come in…
it’s the way you shield me from my pain, the way you maintain, that powerful feeling, like sexual healing, yet that’s an untold story, waiting for orgasmic glory. Can I come in…
9/9/2007

An Oldie...

Its been a long time coming but now your gone,
You keep askin me why i'm moving on,
Well i left long befor you ever knew,
Another love lost because of you,
You keep saying I'm gonna want you back,
But honestly its knowledge that you lack,
It doesn't have to end this way you keep sayin,
And it will never be no matter how much you keep prayin,
See what you don't know you lost me long ago,
For my kids I stuck in their and tried not to let go,
But if you would have just opened your eyes, our love died,
With all the the pain inside and all the tears I cried,
Small thing I said did not mean much,
But then you questioned why i could not stand your touch,
All those times you hurt me built up and now its come to an end,
And you are still wondering why I can't be your friend.
You do not have a clue of what you took from me,
Nine years of my life but you still do not see,
Now you decide to apologize in a letter,
Nothing you say can make this better,
Now its too late and your singin on my phone about you and me,
No I wont and don accept your apology,
I cant recall those good times you talk of,
I guess i never will really feel love,
You say I am your back bone,
If so why was i left to feel alone,
You tell me I should do this for our family,
Again you don't feel me,
You fear my happiness without you,
Maybe your fear will come true,
I have peace with you no longer here,
Sorry I have no more of me to spare,
You just keep on beggin over and over again,
Still questioning why I won't let you in,
But you took all of me and threw it away,
Never realizing what I gave until that last day,
Now I just look for amazement somewhere someway,
I dont want the lies that fill your lips,
No more you no more trips,
I struggled to survive and this is my prize,
As I erase the tears from my babies eyes,
Now its you I am trying to erase,
Searching for that peaceful place.
So next time you here that song you say is for me,
Remember you pushed me away fromt that destiny.

The way i see it....
I can't be contained, while left untamed, unpredictable as the rain, but no ones to blame, sometimes it's all just too hard to explain.
Don't ask me a question if you don't expect the truth,Yes I was once too often overwhelmed ignorance and consumed by my youth,and the pain i felt was next to child losing their first tooth.
But I have grown and it is knowledge I stand by, experiences that I cannot deny, People out there acting like superfly,and history continues to scar as time passes by,
The way I see it....
Take for instance today, tell what you have done so great, who knows if tommorow is in your fate, not time to instigate or debate, this is so real, can you relate.
Don't waste your time with fake people who don't really care, choose life wisely pick the one's who will always be there, Lord knows Life is not always fair,And dreams and visions are not always clear, unpredictable situations need someone who will be there.
The way I see it.....
I won't tellyou to be a certain way, walk a certain way, do as i say, so that you can't blame me if you fall or you sway, because i can't promise you the next day.Or even promise everything will be okay.
No ones saying I am above the rest, just lifting some things off my chest, i don't love you any less, just letting you know i did what i could at my best.
The way i see it....
Backstabbers they are two faced and can go to hell, you i say, cant know me that well, you deserve a lonely cell, now go again run and tell,
Destroy me,know it cant be done, I am on my way up this race as number one, you want it but I am having to much fun, as i have already explained I am the real one,
Be who you are don't surprise me, i know you despise me,it all seems so funny, don't compromise for me.
The way i see it....
Don't apologize now that I have put out there for the world to hear, cause trust me its just a moment that people stop and stare, and tommorow they won't be there, i just want to make everything clear.
To sum it all up I am not pointing the finger towards anyone, you all know who you are as i come up like the rising sun, go ahead continue to have your fun, but dont say a word when i say I am done.

Lonesome Secret Lullaby
In the beginning my heart was begging me to let you in,
My mind contemplating and telling me I could not win,
Your smile still lingers in the air, and your words continue to touch,
I did not realize that everything we shared then would mean so much.
Like a lonesome soldiers cry, this begins my lonesome secret lullaby,
Time continues as we smile and go on, but to you I will forever be drawn,
Though possibly this could have be the biggest mistake of my life,
My destiny is to forever wonder as I carry on as another's wife,
The curiosity was there I cannot deny, Now all I have left is this lonesome secret lullaby,
A part of you though will always be placed in my heart,
And my love continues forever whether together or apart,
Its possible I will go to my death bed knowing it was I,
As I keep inside this lonesome secret lullaby.

Your soul seeks me as we endeavor on this new day.
I represent you as you struggle and begin to sway.
When you are sad ,untuned, and hurt I pray.
You will never be alone as you journey to find this new way.
No entity,zip,zilch,zero could calculate the steps I will go for you.
Nor could they imagine, concieve, visualize, the things I would do.
You are my beloved, my dearest, my loved one, my honey and without you I am through.
So when you are tired, exhausted, and cannot go anymore,
Let me hold you, carry you through and help your wings to soar.

The TRUELY Unhappy Man

Collateral resources have become the conclusion to all this confusion that causes this temporary kind of delusion as he ponders upon another illusion.
As he tries to eliminate the seed of hate, yet he still carries the infidelity he loves to hate, as his soul is deeply embedded with this trait, an unwelcome passion that cancels his true love’s fate,
Driven by physical attraction, that causes more dissatisfaction, love lost once again is the only reaction, not joy to gain but only subtraction,
Lengthened mistakes that continually raise the stakes, his life’s full of so many different heartbreaks, but yet chosen by the decisions he makes,
Can he ever see the light, choose to do what is right, will this forever be his internal fight, as he contemplates tomorrow each and every night,
Blinded by fallacies that seem so real, just a quick fix one quick feel, ravenous like a lion eating his last meal, breaking a vow that once had a seal,
An adrenaline rush that carries him away, as he shames the devil each day, and takes the bait and is driven to play, as all morals are thrown away,
He is reflection of a child with a new toy, who throws it to the side for a new moment of joy, he is built like a man but has a mind of a boy, with only himself to annoy,
Lies incriminate his social outbreak, as he describes a reality that is so fake, make no mistake, he has no rules on how far to take,
His luck has ran thin, as he continually fights from within, he cannot tell how many places he’s been, if she was a lover or friend,
On the road to destroy another without fear, get what he wants, no guilt is near, never being sincere telling only what she wants to hear,
It’s just one big game, rightfully earned his shallow name, countless heartaches to add to his collection of fame, a gallery full with no one else to blame,
Well all I can say is keep walking the line, as the path for destruction fills his mind, he is like a filthy swine, and has audacity to think everything’s fine, one day karma will bite him from behind.

Thoughts

Deep thoughts,day to day lessons, aggressions, daily deppresions, counseling sessions, a mothers oppressions,all built up for sundays confessions,
A man starves for the knowledge but does not know, we all have reprecussions from the seeds we sow, not being accountable for what we do not know, but yet still having time to grow, so we do not end up in the firey pits below,
Lies twisting tightly, rumors changing so slightly, thieves stealing politely, teen pregnancies taken lightly, you talk too quick and too slyly, as time passes by me, but yet still praying nightly,
A world ran by money fortune and fame, all part of the evil one's drug game, but in this life a bullet has no name, a man can die as fast as he has came, a greed for money so hard to tame,
Horrific crimes all in the news, a mans wife battered and bruised, a baby dies in a case of abuse, a crack addicts child left confused, another demon loosed, another woman left feeling used, another man being amused,
But yet we struggle and strive to stay alive, with all that is killing us we still survive, as the pain cuts like the sharpest knive, our life falls down into the cement dive, left with little hope to derive,
Sinning on a daily basis, the pain covered by the alcohol he chases, in a world full of racist, a courtroom filled with too many cases, who knows which death he faces, because he has been too many places, constantly trying to figure out the mazes,
Worldly decisions being made to fast, becoming this worlds outkast, while a cell in hell is being built to last, all because of decisions from the past,oh God its all moving so fast, it can be over in just one blast,
Information given so freely nothing is hidden anymore, spread your wings of knowledge and soar, learn that God is the core, when you cannot take anymore,take the Bible and explore, figure out the purpose you were placed here for, open up the once closed door.

Let Me Be

My solemn state is due to conflict that arises within my soul, you have no control, something in me which causes this toll, that which creates my poetic flow,
Circumstancial events that take me to this lonesome state, through my writing I communicate, you cannot debate my fate, throughout this world filled with hate, so very solemnly evil will instigate,
Pain which is caused by past events, at times mistakes making dents, thoughts of spiritual awakenings making sense, harbored reaping that satan rents,
I rebuke every action that causes this dismay, I have integrity you can't take away, on my knees forever I will pray, for that brighter day,
Turbulence caused is all behind me, through my Lord I hold the key, so evil just let me be, again you have lost and I am free.

A confirmation of ones own strength from within, it is the weakness of many men, also it can be the cause of your sin,
In an instance it can steal your joy and delight, turn your sunny day into a dark night, produce negativity to cause a fight,
It looks so sweet but bitter to the taste, just know the trap has been placed, your not alone in this, all have been faced,
They key to survival is recognizing its path, denying its wrath, standing strong as the others may laugh,
Just an evil put to even the score, make you want more, lose what you may adore, But yet it is rotten from to the core,
Temptation.......
VERSE: No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. -- 1 Corinthians 10:13

Friendship

Friendship,acquaintances people passing by,friendship closeness you can't deny,words of wisdom only they can supply, a real friend one who can't tell you a lie, need that friend to just get by,
Someone special who can be there when you can't find the light, someone to cry with late at night, when you and yours have had a fight, someone to make things better when they don't seem right, a real friendship so tight,
Honesty,perserverance, faith in you, some things only a friend can do, give you advice when you don't have a clue, show you goals you never knew you could pursue, someone true, everyone needs ones of these in their crew,
Simple hello to make your day, let you know everything doesn't always go your way, never let's you go astray, makes everything seem okay, not afraid to pray,
Speaks from experience and gives you advice, is honest with you at any price,never crosses that line even when bodies entice,
A friendship a bond not for everyone to share, one that will always be there, one who you know will always care, an untouchable pair.

Lessons On Love

I must say we have all taken this ride,
left speechless and tongue tied,
but each time we tried,
at times thought we had died,
many nights stood alone and cried,
Lessons On Love,
Love gained love lost,
Long nights we have tossed,
broken at times in a bitter frost,
At times love did have a cost,
Lessons On Love
Thoughts randomly placed through each trial,
But love comes with no denial,
At times we could reconcile,
Sometimes left with a smile,
Lessons On Love
Some shallow some deep,
but all lessons we keep,
And oh how we did weep,
Some hurt that won't let you sleep,
Lessons On Love
Maybe sexual maybe sensual,
But all we thought had potential,
Placed on pedistals with credential,
Lessons On Love
Now all these things have been taken,
Sometimes very mistaken,
Each time we learn and awaken,
Even though we are shaken,
Lessons On Love
But even though sometimes we love to hate,
We are not allowed to debate,
Our minds we masturbate,
But in the end this all is placed on fate.
Lessons On Love

Sexy is a woman

Sexy is a woman that can be a mans backbone, not have prejudice to skin tone, be his company when he is alone, but yet still hold her own,
Sexy is a woman that can deny an affair, have courage not share, because the next day he would not be there,be a woman that is aware,
Sexy is a woman that can trust her mate, who beleives in their fate, doesn't always have to debate, recognizes her soulmate,
Sexy is a woman that can pursue her career, be helpful and sincere, put aside her fear, also make her intentions clear,
Sexy is woman that can use her mind not her treasure, give a man pleasure, but still be on his side at any measure,
Sexy is a woman that can admit her fault, put all others to a hault, take the sweet with the salt, one who can't be sold or bought,
Sexy is a woman who can smile after a fight, bring darkness to light, continue to be polite, make each day seem bright,
Sexy is a woman who can cook a good meal, live life with zeal, have sex appeal, but never dish out a raw deal,
Sexy is a woman that can stand up on her feet, without being beat, in this world full of deceit, having time to make her man feel complete,
Sexy is a woman that can compromise, not live by lies, has nothing to disquise, take on problems no matter what size,
Sexy is a woman that can pray at night, admit when she is not right, doesnt allow every man to take a bite, keeps herself looking tight,
Sexy is a woman who doesn't have to be the center of attraction, recognizes distraction, gives her man satisfaction,
Sexy is a woman who can lend a helping hand, can sympothize and understand, take a firm stand, experience life firsthand,
Sexy is a woman who can take time to hear, be aware, have time to share, understands a good man is rare.

You have shown me

You have shown me
A desire for diferent ways,
a testimonial of past mind plays,
throughout our days,
taking me out of this maze.
You have shown me
A provacative but yet intricate feeling,
somewhat of a sexual healing,
a real man whom I am dealing,
Love so revealing,
You have shown me,
A splendid yet magical romance,
a sensual erotic love dance,
My heart put into a trance,
Unconditional love under any circumstance,
You have shown me,
A real man in touch with the way you feel,
you are the real deal,
as we engage in destinys final seal,
as our future begins to unreel,
You have shown me
Places I thought I would never go,
Every man is not a hoe,
Loving me is not for show,
It is not just about your ego,
You have shown me
The way love should really be,
me taking you and you taking me,
despite any of our iniquity,
not just for a moment but for eternity,
You have shown me,
Its not just about money, sex, and riches,
You said damn all those other b****s,
Stopped using all the lines, tricking,and pitches,
Looking over small glitches,
You have shown me
Happiness I can only feel with you,
Making all my dreams come true,
Doing what you do,
Coming into my life right on cue,
Babe this is why I Love You,
You have shown me.

Hoes Hoes Hoes

Hoes Hoes Hoes
Hoes come in various shapes colors and sizes
They move fast and get in when a problem arises
Hoes are dirty but that does not matter much
Because hoes have no heart no spine and are moved by touch
Hoes may cost hoes may be free
Its best to wear a glove they can be tricky
Hoes are used each and every day
Thank God for hoes keeping those weeds away.

Diamond Men

They say diamonds are a lady's bestfriend,
So now let me tell you about diamond men.
Diamonds in the beginning are just a lump of coal,
Diamond men are always striving to achieve their goal.
Diamonds are strong enough to cut through a thick peice of glass,
Diamond men strong but never fight a lady because of their style and class.
Diamonds they glisten, glow,shimmer and shine,
Diamond men never anticipate who is next in line,
Diamonds come in various color, forms, shapes, and sizes,
Diamond men have no secrets and wear no diguises.
Diamonds dress up a lady and make her stand up in a crowd,
Diamond men are real men that make you feel proud.
Diamonds look so sexy against a lady's skin,
Diamond men don't make you feel used when they enter in,
Diamonds captovate your eye and make you want to buy them,
Diamond men captivate your mind and make you wanna stand by him.
Diamonds can get dirty but with jewelry cleaner they are back brand new,
Diamond men are never scandalous or dirtyand always stay true.
Diamonds are lumious and so very pure,
Diamond men provide happiness and make you feel secure.
Diamonds are one of the most admired and wanted stone,
Diamond men have integrity and stand out on their own.
Diamonds are precious stones that were made from the man above,
Diamond men are God fearing and know how to love.
Diamonds are worth more money than gold,
Diamond men don't have hearts that are cold.
By:Carla
"Whether it is morning noon night hot cold or whatever season, ladies watch for those diamond men because theyare here for the pleason. And fellas you know if your a diamond man or not if you are be proud, and if not there is still time to get it right!"

Don't Fault Me

Don't fault me for questioning how it could really be,
Wondering inside if you are the one to make me happy,
I know deep inside our meeting had a meaning from above,
As you console me and and constantly show me so much love,
Don't fault me for thinking about you everyday and night,
A bond that will be forever, but first a friendship so tight,
I seek your approval but you don't even know,
Without you I do not know where I would go.
Don't fault me for wondering how you truely feel,
Will this someday be, and is this really real.
Small things you do continue to entice my desire,
Sweet things you say add fuel to this curious fire,
Don't fault me for loving your personality first,
If I only looked at the exterior things would be worse,
Pictures they tend to fade in and out of my brain,
As you place in me so much joy that used to be pain,
I try not to say all of the words that are really there,
Kinda silly but rejection I guess plays on my fear,
Don't fault me for thinking of scenes of me and you,
As they continually play, wondering could they be true.
Fate is an obstacle when you don't know where to start,
But a friend first can always steal a woman's heart.
Don't fault me for laughing at cute things you say,
Wondering what you are up to when your away,
Dont fault me for questioning could this really be,
But yet never closing my mind for endless possibility.

Intentions

Stop and think for just a minute, were your intentions really good or did your selfish ways blind you from the truth?
You must remember that now you are dealing with a real woman, not just a silly little youth.
As time is passing are your intentions to keep me from becoming a part of anothers heart?
Do you remember exactly what your intentions for you and me were from the very start?
When I smile are your intentions to make my happiness last a lifetime or just for a moment?
Or are your intentions to give me love, or just to love and leave me in torment?
Intentions can become mistrued by actions that could have been avoided in the first place.
Intentions come with many reactions, that we all at one time or another must face.
There are so many intentions some may be good and some may be bad.
I would like to beleive that the intentions that you have for me are not to make me sad.
So with that thought that I place within your heart I hope that you are really my protection.
That you may value love think with your mind, and not only with the head of your erection.
Please I ask you to ensure me that your intentions are pure, and not just a day by day possibility.
So that I in turn can fulfil your needs for love, and not to leave you to be alone to the best of my ability.

The Beginning

It all began so diferent from the rest,
I knew my inner soul was being put to the test,
But the company was nice and the mood was set,
A memory made that I will never forget,
Not to mention the confidence that was shown,
The sweet conversations over the phone,
Not to mention the crisp air and late night talks,
The candy coated words and the impressive walks,
It all was overwhelming but so very sweet,
So very impressive the mission of defeat,
All the no's became yes, and the nevers turned to lies,
Who ever knew yet another mission man in disguise,
Yet so easily my heart was all in a whirl,
Butterflies in my stomach like a little girl,
Days past like minutes, a year went so fast,
Then out came a reaping from the past,
Suddenly things changed like the weather,
But still lies hope that kept all together,
Each day I pray I can make it for tommorow,
Yearning for a life of joy without sorrow,
In a place that is not familiar to me at all,
Holding on this rope tight trying not to fall,
A heart that is in this one hundred percent,
Is this one the one it felt almost heavensent,
Time can only tell what lies below,
Take a ticket now enjoy the show.

Friendship

Just a simple smile to make your day,
A quick text message when your away,
A quick hello to let you know I care,
A warm hug when you need me near,
Thats what friends are supposed to do,
Thats the reason I am glad to have you,
So next time you are havin a very bad day,
Just you know I care even if I am miles away,
Take time to enjoy what it is we share,
Don't ever forget how much I care,
People may come and they may go,
Real friends care when your feelin low,
Take time out to learn what the needs are,
No matter if they live close or far.

Secret Betrayal

By nature you don't realize it ,but it put's me through hell.
Similiar to a hermit crab moving from shell to shell.
Somehow someway ,this life seems to be so offtrack.
As you hold me at night, but secretly stab me in the back.
I don't want this to end,but i don't want death as my fate.
But yet I am feeling slowly, this tainted love will turn to hate.
Am I just a lonely pawn, in this big ole game.
But will I survive, as you secretly destroy my name?
Lies fall like raindrops on a cold rainy night.
Your plot unthinkable, and only a devils delight.
How can one contain so much, from the twisted tongue?
Sugar coated like M&M's, eaten fast when you were young.
A modern day vigilante without cause or reason.
You continue your mission each day, no matter what the season.
Go on, you know they laugh as I pass by!
A selfish position, you're unable to deny.
But you can't sympothize, because its capitolization on passion and pleasure.
But if you would open your eyes, you would see I am your treasure.
For too long, I've been looking to be high on love.
Just a fairytale dream I keep, as I pray to the man above.
Fate, happiness, and destiny, words seem so far away.
Don't keep taking for granted, what could be gone one day!

Consideration

Consideration a word that everyone needs to have in their daily walk in life,
A word so commonly forgotten in this world built up on strife,
Can you say you considered me when you seduce another,
Am I considered when people know even your sister, brother and mother,
Consideration was it given to me when you in engaged in this relationship,
Is their considerations for my feelings when you don't want me to trip,
Consideration is the word for the day as I try to figure it all out,
But with this consideration I am given, why doe's it produce so much doubt,
Was consideration given when you met these five lives but yet continue your dirt,
Is their consideration without guilt when you know I am deeply hurt,
Meditate on this word and see is it really a word that is with in you,
Maybe if your consideration was really there, I could see you through,
So should I be as considerate as you and play by your very own rule,
Take what is out there and take you also to be another fool,
So consider it done if thats really what your wanting me to do,
If that's really what you want, your consideration is what I will pursue,
Consideration yet just a word it can turn a good day cold and sad,
But yet in life we tend to forget to be considerate and that's when it gets so bad,
Consideration...........Considerarion...............Consideration...................
Consideration for feelings that may be hurt during the game,
Consideration for peoples feelings while calling anothers name,
Come on now if love is blind so is the consideration for me,
Because these walls are falling fast as you continue so kindly,
Consideration is it there when I am there and you try to hide it,
Trying to hold peace so that i won't pitch another fit,
Consideration is it there when I am put to the side for a minute,
Do you consider my feelings while you are all up in it,
I am considerate to you but with what payment to i receive,
Are you considerate in your lies as you continually deceive.
Concentrate on consideration maybe life can be more than a dream,
Quit making up lies and playing roles that are not really as they seem.

Friends......

I want to bring sunlight to your despare,
A friendship, a bond for you and I to share,
Maybe I can't take away the pain,
But lend a helping hand to clear the rain,
Show you rainbow that you thought you would never see
Show you how much of a friend I can really be.
Pick you up when you feel you can't walk tall,
Catch you whenever you begin to fall,
Let me show you my world through my eyes,
Holding back nothing leaving nothing in disquise,
Let me be there when no one else can,
A friend for life can you understand,
All the pain just let it go and start brand new,
I can be that friend that can be there for you,
Got a secret, well tell me it will be ours only,
Never worry about being alone and lonely,
Remember you have a friend here if u need me,
To be there till the end for my lifes eternity.

The Lost Society

The lost society that has been forgotten and pushed to the side,
For some in this society it has been a very sad and hectic ride,
Culture lost admist all the legalities and documentation,
Life signed away for the taking without hesitation,
A language that is so new,but should have been the first,
Its bad when your own are thinking that you are the worst,
But a choice was made for your future without your voice heard,
A kind gesture for a destiny of a human that became so absurd,
Kids laughting taunting and teasing because you are not them,
But yet still drowning in a culture without knowledge of how to swim.
Brought into a natural unkind world full of confusion and hate.
A life decision without concern of the fullness of one's fate.

Locked Up

I was born locked up and still haven't served all of my time,
I am still paying the price but, i dont know for what crime,
Time passes on and people say that things will get better,
But still I feel empty and alone as I am writing this letter,
I often wonder as I reminis on the past, how did I go astray,
What happened to all the happiness in my world,my life,my day,
Bars of steel, but just a vision I placed on a life so very cold,
I sit here I listen, I see,I hear and yet try to do as I am told,
Bitterness from repeated offenses I have not committed,
Close my eyes, dreaming of the day that I will be aquitted,
Walkin through the shadows trying to reach the daylight,
Threatened by insanity that could take me one day, one night,
Constantly I try to progress to the better way of life,
But yet still I am held down by all the controversy and strife,
How many days,weeks, years must I take without pleasure,
When will I find it the diamonds, gold, and the treasure,
I have seen so much that another would have fear,
No one could walk in these shoes without shedding a tear,
Just barely makin it day by day as lifes time ticks on,
Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock, what will happen when I am gone,
Locked up in a trance and without possibility,
Doing my time but thinking about it constantly,
Its unexpainable why I have all this time to serve,
I must tell you though someones really got some nerve,
Thirty one years of being locked up and set to the side,
Contemplations set in my head with visions of suicide.

I look at you and there are miles between where we are and where I want to be,
The glass breaks and fires are started because of the turmoil I have internally,
Processing thoughts and trying hard not to face reality of this crucial moment,
Fighting an internal war daily but yet still trying not to show my discontent,
Can this be the chapter that takes me over the edge that only hell can understand?
With lingering curses and chaos to take over without my very own reprimand,
In passing things seem so very causual, cool, calm, and collect, but is it all worth it?
Take me away I keep saying, to that better life the one that I always pick to forfeit.

Untitled

If I had a box and filled it with my every emotion,
Would you take the time to understand me with deepest devotion?
Could I captivate your mind and show you through my eyes?
Each endeavor of my life nothing in disguise.
Intrigue you with all the thoughts that go through my head,
Would you allow me to innovate on your thoughts of me naked?
Can I take you to a place you have never been befor?
Could you fix the places where my heart has been tore.
Without deception or lies to leave you confused,
Only my perpective of life to leave you amused.
No questions of doubt to hinder what I have to give,
Only true facts of a real woman and the way she must live.
Will you give me credit, where credit should be placed?
Wipe away all bad memory's that need to be erased.

Let Me

I am that woman that has so much to give,
But without oppurtunity is the way I live.
Sometimes a smile hides what I know,
But deep down inside I feel so low.
I want someone that can be trusted,
Be by my side but never disgusted.
Please let me cook you breakfeast in bed,
Caress you from your toes to your head.
Let me be the only love of your life,
Not only your woman but also your wife.
When your down let me bring you up again,
Never worry I don't like people cheatin.
Let me love you the way no woman has before,
Be the one you can cherish and adore.
I will treat you like the king you are,
If I leave for a moment I won't go too far.
Never will you have to lose trust in me,
I will be here for you so very faithfully,
Could I be that woman that you dream of,
And show you all my unconditional love?
Whispering my sweet nothings in your ear,
Making all my love for you so very clear.
Running your bath water after your day end,
Not just your seductive lover but also your friend.
Can I be the only picture inside of your head,
Just like all the fairytales that you have read.
Let me make you feel loved tonight and forever,
Don't hold back love and never say never.
I want to be next to you closer each day,
All other girls left behind and pushed away.
Can our heartbeats join and coincide,
Never letting anyone break our stride?
Open what you have closed and pushed aside,
Tell me all the secrets you have held inside.
Manicures and pedicures its all the same,
I will be here for you when you call my name.
I want to show you how love is suppose to be,
Massage and hold you ever so closely.
Let me be your diamond that shines so bright,
A real love so pure and a bond so tight.

Untitled

Looking back at my life in it's entirety,
Don't know why it seems you forget me,
Can't understand why things go this way,
But yet still I hold on and I still pray,
I am a shadow in this big ol' world,
Constantly turnin' and being twirled,
Can't you see I am leanin' on you,
Need some peace to help me through,
Carry me now because I can't stand,
When I cry please hold my hand,
Diamonds they glisten, but coal still black,
Let me shine and give me what I lack,
I know that I am not the best,
Give me hope so I may rest,
Let today be the day that this ends,
Place your angels around as my friends,
Hold me now I really need your blessin',
They don't know with whom they are messin'.